尼古拉斯·天使巡警 出生并受教于伦敦 Police Constable Nicholas Angel. Born and schooled in London.
1993年毕业于坎特伯雷大学 成绩优秀 获得政治和社会双学位 Graduated Canterbury University in 1993 with a double first in politics and sociology.
之后在海顿警校接受培训 Attended Hendon College of Police Training.
在实战方面显示出相当的天赋 Displayed great aptitude in field exercises.
尤其是平定城市暴乱方面 Notably, urban pacification and riot control.
退后! Back off!
在校期间理论课成绩和年终测评均为优 Academically excelled in theoretical course work and final year examinations.
被授予荣誉警棍 Received the Baton of Honour.
后以优异成绩毕业进入市警局 Graduated with distinction into the Metropolitan Police Service.
在社区中迅速树立起自己的威望 Quickly established an effectiveness and popularity within the community.
动动你们的脑子 Use your brain.
通过高级驾驶术和骑车术的课程 Proceeded to improve skill base with courses in advanced driving
提升了业务技能 and advanced cycling.
深入参与了多项业余活动 Became heavily involved in a number of extra vocational activities.
至今还保持着警局内百米记录 To this day holds the Met record for the 100 metre dash.
2001年进入着名的第19特别行动 武装快速反应部队 In 2001 began active duty with the renowned SO 19 armed response unit.
在"压迫"行动中被授予勇气勋章 Received a bravery award for efforts in the resolution of Operation Crackdown.
在过去12个月里9次获得特别表彰 In the last 12 months has received nine special commendations.
创造了警局内最高逮捕记录 Achieved the highest arrest record for any officer in the Met.
执勤时共负伤3次 And sustained three injuries in the line of duty.
最近的一次是12月 被一名打扮成圣诞老人的男子刺伤 Most recently in December when wounded by a man dressed as Father Christmas.
- 你好 尼古拉斯 - 你好 警官 - Hello, Nicholas. - Hello, Sergeant.
- 手怎么样了? - 还有点僵 - How's the hand? - Still a bit stiff.
这样子出去可是很危险的 It can get awfully hairy out there.
你怎么没立即要求转作文职 像我这样 I'm surprised you werert snapped up sooner for a nice desk job. That's what I did.
我更喜欢出去巡逻 I prefer to think my office is out on the street.
我看也是 Indeed, you do.
你的逮捕记录比同行要高4倍 Your arrest record is 400% higher than any other officer.
现在正是你大展拳脚的时候了 Which is why it's high time that such skills were put to better use.
- 我们提升你做警官 - 明白 - We're making you Sergeant. - I see.
分配到格洛斯特郡的沙福德村 In Sandford, Gloucestershire.
- 分配到...哪儿? - 格洛斯特郡的沙福德 - In where, sorry? - In Sandford, Gloucestershire.
- 那是乡下啊 - 没错 很漂亮 - That's in the country. - Yes, lovely.
在伦敦就没有个警官的空位? Isn't there a Sergeant's position here in London?
没有 No.
- 能不能还留在这当警员? - 不行 - Can I remain here as a PC? - No.
- 难道没选择余地了? - 米有 - Do I have any choice in this? - No.
警官 我很喜欢这儿 Sergeant, I kind of like it here.
你不一直都想要转到乡下去? Well, you've always wanted to transfer to the country.
- 20年后 是的 - 那就得了 - In 20 years or so, yes. - Well done, you.
等等 我不记得和你讲过这个 Hang on, I don't remember telling you that.
不 你说过的 Yes, you did. You said,
"我想什么时候到乡下定居 珍妮" "I'd love to settle down in the country sometime, Janine."
我要找督察谈话 I'd like to talk to the Inspector.
行啊 但我可以向你保证 You can speak to the Inspector, but I can promise you
他讲的会和我完全一样 he will tell you exactly the same thing as I have.
- 你好 尼古拉斯 手怎么样了? - 还有点僵 - Hello, Nicholas. How's the hand? - It's still a bit stiff.
- 家里怎么样? - 什么? - And how are things at home? - I'm sorry, sir?
珍妮怎么样? How's Janine?
我们分了 长官 We're no longer together, sir.
- 那你现在住哪? - 他住在单元屋 长官 - Right. Then where are you living? - He's staying at the Section House, sir.
- 和新兵在一起? - 他快没纸盒了 - With the recruits? - Yes, he's living out of cardboard boxes.
那你已经打好包了? Well, then, you're packed already.
尼古拉斯 我们给你的是份要职 并附一座舒适乡村小屋 Nicholas, we're offering you a smashing position with a delightful cottage,
那地方很好 我看赢得过年度最佳村庄... in a lovely little place that I think has won Village of the Year
都不记得有多少次了 很适合你的 I don't know how many times. It'll be good for you.
- 我真不知道该说什么了 - 遵命? - I don't really know what to say. - Yes?
遵命 谢谢? Yes, thank you.
不 抱歉 我要... No, I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to...
- 你要跟更上层的谈? - 是 是的 - You want to take this higher? - Yes, yes, I do.
你想我去拿这件事烦督察长? You want me to bother the Chief Inspector with this?
是的 Yes.
你要我去让督察长大老远到楼下来? You want me to get the Chief Inspector to come all the way down here?
- 是的 - 好吧 - Yes, I do. - Okay.
肯尼斯! Kenneth!
- 你好 尼古拉斯 手怎么样了? - 还有点僵 - Hello, Nicholas. How's the hand? - Still a bit stiff.
- 督察长... - 请坐 - Chief Inspector... - Keep your seat.
我知道你想说什么 Now, I know what you're going to say,
但事实是你让我们很没面子 but the fact is, you've been making us all look bad.
什么? I'm sorry, sir?
我们当然欣赏你的付出 Of course we all appreciate your efforts,
但你让我们在拖你后腿 but you've been rather letting the side down.
我们需要的是团队精神 尼古拉斯 It's all about being a team player, Nicholas.
伦敦可不是你一个人的 You can't be the Sheriff of London.
如果再让你出去巡逻 If we let you carry on running round town,
我们可受不了你这样出色的表现 you'll continue to be exceptional and we can't have that.
不然就要砸自己的饭碗了 You'll put us all out of a job.
恕我冒犯 长官 With respect, sir.
- 你不能就这么让人消失 - 我能的 我是督察长 - You can't just make people disappear. - Yes, I can. I'm the Chief Inspector.
不管你怎么说 你忘了一件重要的事... Well, however you spin this, there's one thing you haven't taken into account.
那就是"团队合作精神" And that's what the "team" is gonna make of this.
[走好 尼古拉斯]
- 喂? - 珍妮 是我 - Hello? - Janine, it's me.
知道 我在工作呢 I know. I'm at work.
知道 我就在外面 I know, I'm outside.
情况如何? What's the situation?
明知故问 我们已经谈过了 You know the situation. We've been over this.
不 我是指这里 No, I... I meant here.
一共两人 有明显的搏斗痕迹 Two people involved, distinct signs of a struggle.
很乱 Complete mess.
- 你不是在说我们? - 尼古拉斯 你想怎么样? - You are talking about here? - Nicholas, what do you want?
我有些重要的事情想跟你说 但是我又不想在电话里说 Well, I have something important to tell you and I didn't wanna do it over the phone.
珍妮 我被调职了 我要搬走一段时间 Janine, I've been transferred. I'm moving away for a while.
我不是珍妮 I'm not Janine.
珍妮 我被调职了 我要搬走一段时间 Janine, I've been transferred. I'm moving away for a while.
我知道 鲍勃跟我说了 I know. Bob told me.
你好 Hello, there.
我要亲口跟你说 Well, I wanted to tell you in person.
没有理由我们不能再和平相处 And there's no reason we can't be civil with each other.
不久前我们不还说过要结婚吗? It's not that long ago we were talking about getting married.
是啊 但你已经嫁给了治安机关 不是吗? Yes, but you were already married to the force, werert you?
事实上 我们现在称之为治安部门 We're actually supposed to call it "the service" now.
官方指南称"机关"太具侵略性了 Official vocab guidelines state that "force" is too aggressive.
看见没 一直只是关于工作的事 See. It's only ever about the job.
- 你只关心工作 - 不是这样的 - It's all you care about. - That's not true.
是啊 你还有一盆塑胶花 No, you're right, you do have that rubber plant.
- 那是日本白鹤芋 - 你放不下工作 尼古拉斯 - It's a Japanese Peace Lily. - You just can't switch off, Nicholas.
除非你能找到比你工作更重要的人 但那可能吗? And until you find a person you care about more than your job, you never will.
还有 是你提出分手的 Besides, you were the one who suggested we take a break.
是啊 罪人总是会先行一步的 Yes, well, guilty people often make the first move.
实际上 我有些事情要跟你说 Actually, there's something I need to tell you.
- 你在和别人约会? - 是啊 你怎么...? - You're seeing someone else. - Yes. How did you...
- 和鲍勃? - 不是 - Is it Bob? - No.
鲍勃看上去是我喜欢的类型吗? Does Bob look like the kind of person I'd go out with?
是戴夫 It's Dave.
你好 Hello, there.
我明白了 I see.
噢 尼古拉斯 Oh, Nicholas.
你发现那窗户是从里面打破的吧? You do realise that window was broken from the inside?
你好 尼古拉斯 我是弗兰克·黄油男 你的新督察 Hello there, Nicholas, Frank Butterman here, your new Inspector.
我打电话来告诉你住宿的详情 I'm just calling with details of your accommodation.
我们在斯宾塞山 给你准备了个舒适的村舍 [警察英勇开枪救人] We've got you a lovely little cottage on Spencer Hill.
期待能尽快见到你 回见 Look forward to meeting you anon. Cheerio.
尼古拉斯 还是我弗兰克 还是关于你的宿舍 Nicholas, Frank again. One other thing about your cottage.
房子没准备好 It's not ready.
Vodafone UK (英国一移动公司)
欢迎来到沙福德
模范村庄
天鹅旅馆
似乎天空放晴了 It would appear the heavens have opened.
- 我来登记住宿 - 登记住宿? - I was hoping to check in. - Check in?
但你一直都住这里啊 But you've always been here.
- 什么? - 啊 对不起 - Excuse me? - Oh, I'm sorry.
我还以为你是我丈夫呢 I thought you were my husband.
- 你一定是天使警官了 - 是的 我是 - You must be Sergeant Angel. - Yes, I am.
我是乔伊丝·箍桶匠 您的旅行还愉快 法西斯分子 I'm Joyce Cooper. I trust you had a pleasant trip. Fascist.
什么? I beg your pardon?
"极端专政的政府体系" 第七横行 [她在玩填字游戏] "System of Government characterised by extreme dictatorship." Seven across.
- 啊 我明白了 是法西斯主义 - 法西斯主义 太棒了 - Oh, I see. It's "fascism." - Fascism. Wonderful.
我们把你安排在城堡套房 伯纳德会带你上去的 Now, we've put you in the Castle Suite. Bernard will escort you up there.
呃 我自己就能上去 母夜叉 Well, actually, I could probably make my own way up. Hag.
什么? I beg your pardon?
"可怕或丑陋的邪恶老女人" 第12竖行 "Evil old woman considered frightful or ugly." It's 12 down.
啊 祝福你 Oh, bless you.
城堡套房
- 来一杯啤酒 玛丽 - 就来 亲爱的 - Pint of lager, please, Mary. - Right you are, my love.
先生 想要点什么? Yes, sir, what can I get you?
能来一杯酸果蔓汁吗? Could I have a glass of the cranberry juice, please?
当然 Certainly.
你不会是新来的警察吧? Now, you wouldn't, by any chance, be the new policeman?
是的 我叫尼古拉斯·天使 Police officer, yes. I'm Nicholas Angel.
- 我叫罗伊·黑啤 这是我妻子玛丽 - 我是玛丽 - I'm Roy Porter. This is my wife Mary. - Mary.
欢迎来到沙福德 Welcome to Sandford.
如果想要什么 尽管跟我们说 If there's anything you need, just let us know.
谢谢 能借报纸看看吗? Thank you. Could I borrow your newspaper?
这不是我们的 亲爱的 It's not ours, love.
我们才不看这种包装纸 是吧 玛丽? We're not big fans of the local fish wrapper, are we, Mare?
- 上面说她的年龄是55 - 可我实际上才53 - They listed her age as 55. - When I'm actually 53.
是53 Fifty-three.
- 再来一杯啤酒 玛丽 - 就来 亲爱的 - Pint of lager, please, Mary. - Right you are, my love.
《沙福德公民报》
严禁非法将酒精制品售予 18岁以下未成年人
- 你 - 怎么了? - Excuse me. - What?
- 你的生日是几月几号? - 2月22号 - Whers your birthday? - Twenty-second of February.
- 哪一年? - 每年 - What year? - Every year.
出去 Get out.
- 你什么时候生的 - 1969年5月8号 - Whers your birthday? - Eighth of May, 1969.
- 你37岁? - 是啊 - You're 37? - Yeah.
出去 Get out.
你的生日呢? Whers your birthday?
出去 Out.
- 有问题吗 警官? - 是的 黑啤先生 - Is there a problem, Officer? - Yes, there is, Mr Porter.
你的一部分客人未到法定年龄 It would appear a number of your patrons are under age.
有几个还有一两个月就到了 Well, a few of them may be a month or two south of proper.
他们在这里的话 就不会在外面惹麻烦了 But if they're in here, it stops them getting into trouble out there.
这样子做是为了村庄好 Yeah, the way we see it, it's all for the greater good.
为了村庄好 The greater good.
也许是这样 但法律就是法律 他们必须走 Well, that's as may be, but the law's the law and they'll have to go.
- 再来杯酸果蔓汁? - 不用了 谢谢 - Another cranberry juice? - I'm fine, thank you.
喷泉重建与1993年 感谢...(共12人)
你不会在打算开这部车 I hope you're not planning on driving that.
么有 No.
好啊 我要把你带到局里去 Right. I'm taking you to the station.
警察局在哪? Where is it?
干嘛? What?
进去 Move.
尼古拉斯·天使 "Nicholas Angel."
- 什么时候开始上班的? - 明天 - Oh, when did you start? - Tomorrow.
我想你已经把全村的人都抓来了 Well, I see you've already arrested the whole village.
没那么多 Not exactly.
- 进来呆一晚吗? - 去吧 4号房是空的 - You in for the night? - Go on, four's free.
- 嘿 我现在要跟他谈谈 - 不到明早他是不会清醒的 - Hey, now, I need to speak to him. - He'll be no use till the morning.
明白了 I see.
你真的要处理这些人吗? You really want to process all this lot?
- 我的笔没油了 - 不是问题 - My pers running out. - Not a problem.
- 早上好 警官 - 早上好 - Morning, Sergeant. - Morning.
早上好 Morning.
早上好 警官 Morning, Sergeant.
- 关我进牢房吧 - 什么? - Lock me up. - I'm sorry?
我要继续砍 你得阻止我 I'm a slasher and I must be stopped.
- 你要什么? - 砍价的砍 - You're a what? - A slasher of prices.
开个玩笑 我是西蒙·扒皮 经营着当地的超市 Just kidding. I'm Simon Skinner. I run the local supermarch?
有空顺路来看看我 我在违规打折 Drop in and see me sometime. My discounts are criminal.
来捉我吧! Catch me later!
早上好 警官 Morning, Sergeant.
告诉督察我已经来了 好吗? Could you tell the Inspector I've arrived, please?
不行 No.
为什么? Why?
他还没来 He's not in yet.
- 我们的客人怎么样了? - 客人? - Well, how's our guest? - Guest?
- 四号监的醉汉 - 我不知道 没人跟我讲过 - The inebriate in cell four. - I don't know. Nobody tells me nothing.
能打开四号监吗? Can I get cell four open, please?
胖子 能把四号打开吗? Danny, can you open four?
- 他逃跑了 - 啊 我的天 谁跑了? - He's gone. - Oh, my God. Who's gone?
- 你为什么穿得跟警察一样? - 我本来就是 - Why are you dressed like a police officer? - Because I am one.
天使警官 终于来了 我是弗兰克·黄油男 Sergeant Angel, at last. Frank Butterman.
- 我想你已经见过我的儿子了 - 是啊 - I see you've already met my boy. - Yes.
请谅解我 我有几分是个西部迷 Do forgive me. I'm something of a Wild West nut.
说起来 昨晚你制止了不少非法行为 Speaking of which, that was a fair few outlaws you rounded up last night.
谢谢 长官 Thank you, sir.
我很钦佩你的激情 跟着我你真是太屈才了 I admire your enthusiasm and far be it from me to stifle your flair,
但这里不是伦敦 啊 好的 丹尼 but this isn't London. Oh, yes, please, Danny.
恕我冒犯 长官 With respect, sir,
地理位置因素并不影响法律的实行 geographical location shouldn't factor in the application of the law.
不用 谢谢 No, thanks.
据统计 沙福德是国内最安全的村庄 Statistically, Sandford is the safest village in the country.
但这并不表明 我们可以不谨慎尽责 But that doesn't mean it requires anything less
鲁莽行事 than a careful and considered approach.
我们允许一些年轻人进酒馆是有原因的 There's a reason we accommodate a few of the younglings at the pub.
- 为了村庄好? - 为了村庄好 太对了 - The greater good? - The greater good. Precisely.
你的前任认为维持乡下治安很容易 Your predecessor assumed that rural policing was easy.
最终却因精神紧张而崩溃 Ended up having a nervous breakdown.
冒泡警官曾是名杰出的警察 真的很杰出 And Sergeant Popwell was an exceptional officer, truly exceptional.
他还有件你所不具备的东西 And he had one thing you haven't got.
- 是什么 长官? - 一脸大胡子 - What's that, sir? - A great big bushy beard.
快来 带你转一下 Come on, let's have a mosey around.
存物柜房 Locker room.
防暴装备房 Riot room.
证物房 Evidence room.
现在 去安第斯山玩一趟怎么样? Now, how about a trip to the Andes?
写不来侦探警官 和 不会写侦探巡警 Detective Sergeant Wainwright and Detective Constable Can'twright.
不用起身了 Don't get up.
我想你一定很好奇 为什么称他们为安第斯山 I expect you're wondering why we call them the Andes.
- 他们都叫安德鲁? (音近安第斯山) - 果然厉害啊 - They're both called Andrew? - They said you were good.
还有 跟他们谈话就跟 登山一样费力 是吧 父亲? Also, because talking to them is an uphill struggle, isn't it, Dad?
- 操死你们! - 谢谢你 丹尼 - Fuck off! - Thank you, Danny.
脏话盒 所有收入都用于整修教堂屋顶 -- ￥1.5 混蛋 — ￥3.0 放屁—￥7.5 操 — ￥15 傻屄 — ￥30
这里就是办事的地方 And this is where it all happens.
那是托尼·渔夫警官 That is Sergeant Tony Fisher.
鲍勃·步行者警员 PC Bob Walker.
还有那是撒克逊 And that is Saxon.
这是多瑞丝·茅屋匠 And this is one Doris Thatcher.
- 她是我们唯一的女警察 - 她不是女警察 - She's our only policewoman. - She's not a policewoman.
- 是的 她是啊 我见过她的胸罩 - 她是名警务人员 - Yeah, she is. I've seen her bra. - She's a police officer.
和是不是女性没有关系 Being a woman has nothing to do with it.
那些我不清楚 但我还是偶尔能派得上用场的 Oh, I don't know. Comes in handy every so often.
我可以带你走走 警察局我已经转过好多次了 I could've given you the tour. I've been round the station a few times.
楼上是什么? And what's upstairs?
唔 看来我们有访客了 Well, well, well, I see we have visitors.
尼古拉斯 这是汤姆·织布工 Nicholas, this is Tom Weaver.
[邻里监控联盟](简称NWA) 的联络员 Civilian liaison with the Neighbourhood Watch Alliance.
你会发现我们是很有组织性的 You'll find that we run a very tight ship here.
从这个控制中心 我能看到整个村庄的情况 From this command centre I can see what the whole village is up to.
我必须说我非常钦佩你昨晚的工作 I must say I was rather admiring your handiwork last night.
很遗憾你没有对这些该死的帽子党 采取同样的行动 It's a pity you didn't do the same to those bloody hoodies.
到处闲逛 呆坐着虚度光阴 Hanging around. Loitering. Sitting.
实际上 我确实注意到喷泉上 有些小的涂鸦 Actually, I did notice some minor graffiti on the fountain.
涂鸦? 一定要处理他们 弗兰克 Graffiti? They've gotta be dealt with, Frank.
他们还是孩子 汤姆 他们消失的 They're nippers, Tom. They'll come round.
这提醒了我 Which reminds me,
我们的朋友 "活雕像"周六来过这里 our friend, The Living Statue, was here on Saturday.
11点 12点 1点 2点 11:00, 12:00, 1:00, 2:00.
如果我们不对这些小丑 采取些严厉措施的话 If we don't come down hard on these clowns,
- 我们的球都要被他们玩没了 - 我们会立马处理的 汤姆 - we are gonna be up to our balls in jugglers. - We'll get right onto it, Tom.
我们要让他们觉得是他们掌控着这地方 We like to let them think they run the place.
唔 就这些了 Well, that's that.
你还有什么不明白的吗? Unless there's anything you're unclear about?
是的 长官 为什么每个人都在吃巧克力蛋糕呢? Yes, sir. Why is everybody eating chocolate cake?
黑森林奶油蛋糕是丹尼请的 作为他的小疏忽的惩罚 The Black Forest gateau is on Danny. As punishment for his little indiscretion.
他的... His...
长官 我不认为醉酒驾车只是小疏忽 Sir, I don't think driving under the influence can be called a "little indiscretion."
不 蛋糕是他前周放错了头盔的惩罚 No, the gateau is for misplacing his helmet the other week.
昨晚的事故当然要严肃处理 Last night's incident will require something rather more serious.
- 那就好 - 你喜欢吃冰淇淋吗? - Good. - Do you like ice-cream?
对不起 长官 我不明白 I'm sorry, sir, I don't follow.
我说那样下个月我们就有 果仁冰激凌吃了 Let's just say that we won't be short of Chunky Monkey for the next month.
老爸 Dad.
既然你第一天上班 现在11点半 我说...去吃午饭吧 Now, since it's your first day and it's 11:30, I'd say that's lunch.
那么 是什么让你选择了沙福德了 天使警官? So, what made you choose Sandford then, Sergeant Angel?
实际上不是我选的 It wasrt actually my choice.
明白 明白 不是你主动来这儿教我怎么干活的 Oh, right, right, wasrt your choice to come down here and tell me how to do my job.
教我们怎么干... Our jobs.
是啊 Yeah.
听着 我可以保证 我并不是来抢饭碗的 Look, I can assure you it wasrt my intention to upset the apple can't.
是啊 我们都用盘子吃饭的 对不对? Yeah, 'cause we all sell apples round here, don't we?
- 你爸也是 安迪 - 还会用盆 - Your dad sells apples, Andy. - And raspberries.
我打赌你等不及 要跳进冒泡警官的棺材了 I bet you can't wait to jump into Sergeant Popwell's grave.
我不会跳进任何人的棺材 I'm not jumping into anyone's grave.
- 你有...胡子 - 我知道 - You got a moustache. - I know.
- 你为什么要防护背心? - 这是必须的 - Why have you got your stab vest on? - It's a requirement.
也许在市里面是这样 但这里没人会想刺你的 警官 In the city maybe. Nobody's gonna stab you in here, Sergeant.
绝对不会在这里发生 Not a member of the public anyhow.
- 你被刺伤过吗 渔夫警官? - 没有 - Have you been stabbed, Sergeant Fisher? - No.
我被刺过 Well, I have.
我向你保证刺人并不好玩 And I can assure you it is not in the least bit amusing.
你你见过别人执行任务吗 天使警官? Have you seen a lot of action, Sergeant Angel?
我当时就在场 是的 I've experienced my fair share, yes.
- 你煮过一些蠢货吗? - 什么? - Did you cook any fools? - Excuse me?
你开枪射过人吗? Did you shoot anybody?
他用克拉什尼科夫冲锋枪射过瘾君子 He shot a crack head with a Kalashnikov.
- 你从哪里搞来那枪的? - 是罪犯持有克拉什尼科夫冲锋枪 - Where did you get that? - The offender had the Kalashnikov.
他从那儿搞的? Where'd he get that?
你应该知道乡下比城里有更多的枪吧? You do know there are more guns in the country than there are in the city?
所有人和他们的老母都携带武器 Everybody and their mums is packing round here.
- 比如? - 农夫们 - Like who? - Farmers.
- 还有呢? - 他们的老娘 - Who else? - Farmers's mums.
被刺伤了是什么感觉? What's it like being stabbed?
是我一生中最痛的经历 It was the single most painful experience of my life.
第二痛的呢? What was the second most painful?
你有没有持双枪凌空射击过? You ever fired two guns whilst jumping through the air?
没 No.
那有没有持一把枪凌空射击过? You ever fired one gun whilst jumping through the air?
没 No.
- 那你有没有高速追踪过罪犯? - 嗯 有过 - Ever been in a high speed pursuit? - Yes, I have.
你有没有在高速追踪的同时射击? You ever fired a gun whilst in a high speed pursuit?
没 No.
只能同时进一名学生
安妮特 天使警官进了你的店 Annette, that Sergeant Angel's coming into your shop.
看他的屁股呀 Get a look at his arse.
- 《致命武器》呢? - 没 - What about Lethal Weapon? - No.
- 那你该看过《虎胆龙威》吧? - 没 - You've seen Die Hard, though? - No.
- 《绝地战警2》? - 没 - Bad Boys II? - No.
你没看过《绝地战警2》? You ain't seen Bad Boys II?
- 该死的一天 哈? - 是啊 - Hell of a day, huh? - Yeah.
- 明天照样? - 是啊 - Same again tomorrow? - Yeah.
邻里监控联盟 NWA
这是阿曼达·铺路机 沙福德小学的校长 Amanda Paver, headmistress of Sandford Primary.
你好吗 警官? How do you do, Sergeant?
- 这是西蒙·扒皮 我想你已经见过 - 我们已经是好朋友了 - Simon Skinner, I believe you've met. - Oh, we're already firm friends.
啊 借过 跟我来 好吗? Oh, please, please, come with me, will you?
这是莱丝莉·耕种机 This is Leslie Tiller,
正是因为她的出色园艺 才使得沙福德闻名遐迩 whose horticultural expertise has helped put Sandford on the map.
- 她一直都很棒 - 别胡说啦! - She's ever so good. - Oh, go on.
这是詹姆斯·收割机 巴尼根农场的主人 This is James Reaper, who owns Brannigan Farm.
我听说你是个神枪手 I hear you're quite the marksman.
也许有天你能跟我们一起打猎 Perhaps you might like to join us for a shoot one day.
我已经有两年多没碰枪支了 收割机先生 Well, I haven't held a firearm for over two years, Mr Reaper.
我也希望能一直保持下去 I'd quite like to keep it that way.
当地的小鸟(妞)一定很喜欢你 You will be popular with the local birds.
小鸟 Birds.
尼古拉斯 你好 我是射击手牧师 Nicholas, hello. Reverend Shooter.
我想知道周末做礼拜时你愿意做布道吗? I want to ask you, would you read a homily at Sunday Service?
那对我来说有点太伪善了 牧师 That might be a little hypocritical of me, Reverend.
啊 你是个无神论者? Oh, you're an atheist?
不 我...我... No, I'm... I'm...
我信奉宗教自由 我只是不能完全相信教义 I'm open to the concept of religion, I'm just not entirely convinced by it.
- 你是不可知论者? - 我想我有种药膏可以治一下 - You're an agnostic? - I think I have a cream for that.
罗宾·孵化器 我们当地的医生 Robin Hatcher, our resident sawbones.
希望在接下来的日子里我们不要常见面 Hopefully we won't see too much of each other over the coming months.
还有就是欢迎你参加 Well, all that remains is to welcome you
邻里监控联盟的周会 to the weekly meeting of the Neighbourhood Watch Alliance.
会前的一个小通知 Now, quick announcement before we begin.
珍妮特·剥皮机生了一对双胞胎 Janet Barker has just given birth to twins.
恭喜她 So, congratulations to her.
- 该你了 汤姆? - 谢谢 乔伊丝 - Tom? - Thanks, Joyce.
现在 Now.
我肯定 你们都已经觉察到 我们的街道环境又在恶化 I am sure that all of you will have noticed the return of a blight to our streets.
这会破坏竞争年度最佳村庄的计划 It's made all the more disturbing as the Village of the Year contest looms.
我所说的 就是那极讨人厌的"活雕像" I refer, of course, to the extremely irritating Living Statue.
警察的工作与其说是打击犯罪 Police work is as much about preventing crime
不如说是预防犯罪 as it is about fighting crime.
最重要的是 它是将道德权威以正确的程序加以实施 Most importantly, it is about procedural correctness in the execution of unquestionable moral authority.
还有问题吗? Any questions?
说 Yes.
人的头有一个部位 如果射中那个地方 Is it true that there is a place in a mars head
头会爆吗? that if you shoot it, it will blow up?
嗨嗨 我是提姆·情报员 Hi, hi, Tim Messenger.
我可以为《沙福德公民报》拍张照吗? Can I get a quick shot for the Sandford Citizen?
好的 Okay.
拍张你把老师拷起来的照片怎么样? How about you put the teacher in handcuffs?
我想那会误导群众 I don't think that gives off the right signals.
太潇洒了 好的 听你的 Too cheesy-pie. Okay. Gotcha.
- 把帽子给你旁边的小女孩? - 还是不了吧 - Give the little blonde kid your hat. - I'd rather not.
- 四处挥舞你的警棍呢? - 不 - Wave your hitting stick about. - No.
好吧 Righty-ho-ho.
大标题：法律有漏洞 超级警察天"吏"如此教育孩子们
你能签个名吗? Oh, can I have your autograph, please?
- 是早餐的 - 啊 对不起 - For the breakfast. - Oh, sorry.
鸡巴天吏 天吏 天吏 天吏
嘿 不关我事 Hey, that werert me.
- 早 天吏 - 早上好 天吏 - Morning, Angle. - Good morning, Angle.
- 早 天吏 - 早 天吏 - Morning, Angle. - Morning, Angle.
- 我是天使警官 - 早上好 天鹅跑掉了 - Sergeant Angel. - Morning. The swars escaped.
- 天鹅跑掉了 - 嗯 - The swars escaped? - Yeah.
好的 天鹅具体是从哪里跑掉了? Right. And where has the swan escaped from exactly?
- 城堡 - 是吗? 你是哪位? - The castle. - Oh, yeah? And who might you be?
史泰克先生 彼得·伊恩·史泰克先生 Mr Staker. Yeah, Mr Peter lan Staker.
彼·伊·史泰克 对吧 鼻屎 拜托! P. I. Staker. Right. Piss taker. Come on!
是的 史泰克先生 我们会尽全力的 能向我描叙一下外貌吗? Yes, Mr Staker. We'll do everything we can. Can you describe it to me?
大概有两英尺高 It's about two foot tall.
- 细长的脖子 - 嗯 - Long slender neck. - Yeah.
- 有点黑黄色的喙 - 还有呢? - Kind of orange and black bill. - Anything else?
反正 是只天鹅 Well, it's a swan.
会吓着它的 That's just gonna scare it.
- 那些天鹅可不好抓啊? - 实际上只有一只 - No luck catching them swans then? - It's just the one swan, actually.
- 想去店里买点什么吗? - 你不刚去过吗? - Want anything from the shop? - You've just been to the shop.
我是指其他店 I was thinking of a different shop.
黄油男巡警 现在可不是忙私事的时候 Constable Butterman, this is not the time for personal errands.
- 现在不是没什么状况嘛? - 总会有状况的 - Well, there's nothing going on, is there? - There is always something going on.
你必须要加倍小心 明白? 比如这家伙? You have to look closer, all right? What about this guy?
- 叛徒先生? - 嗯 - Mr Treacher? - Yeah.
他为什么要穿件大外套? Why has he got that big coat on?
他又不冷 为什么要穿这么多? 也许他藏了些什么东西 He can't be cold. Why the extra layer? Maybe he's trying to hide something.
叛徒先生? Mr Treacher?
好吧 那这家伙呢? Okay. What about this guy?
想想看 他为什么要把帽子拉那么低? Ask yourself, why has he got his hat pulled down like that?
- 他是个丑八怪 - 或者他不想让你看见他的脸 - He's fuck ugly. - Or he doesn't want you to see his face.
正因为他是个丑八怪 Because he's fuck ugly.
好吧 那他呢? Okay, what's his story?
- 哦 那是傻大个 - 继续说 - Oh, that's Lurch. - Go on.
- 他是当地超市的推车工 - 继续 - He's a trolley boy at the local supermarket. - Good.
真名是迈克·粗手臂 Real name, Michael Armstrong.
- 父亲说他弱智 - 嗯 - Dad says he's got a child's mind. - Okay.
他跟她妈妈和妹妹一起住在夏日街 And lives up Summer Street with his mum and his sister.
也跟他一样强壮吗? And are they as big as he is?
- 谁? - 他妈妈和妹妹 - Who? - The mum and the sister.
都是同一个人 Same person.
你想去哪家店? What shop were you thinking of?
《第四类杀手》 格斗技术专家VS超级杀人机器?
天使警官请到经理室来 Sergeant Angel to the Manager's office.
请到经理室来 天使警官 Manager's office. Sergeant Angel.
是天使警官 还是天吏? Sergeant Angel. Or is it Angle?
扒皮先生 有个婴儿在6号走廊呕吐了 Mr Skinner, a baby's sicked up in aisle six.
不好意思 迈克尔! Please excuse me. Michael!
好的 Yarp.
- 6号走廊有呕吐物 去拖干净了 - 好的 - Child vomit. Aisle six. Mop it up. - Yarp.
- 扒皮先生 有什么麻烦吗? - 没 没有 - Mr Skinner, is there a problem? - No, no, no, no.
我只是想说能看到你 支持本地商铺真是太好了 I simply wanted to say how lovely it is to see you supporting your local store.
那是应该的 Well, that's quite all right.
有许多人都跑到布福德·艾比的 超级商业中心去购物了 All too many have defected to the big Megamart in Buford Abbey.
这么不忠的客人 真该砍了他们的脑袋 May their heads be struck from their shoulders for such disloyalty.
好了 我正在执勤 请恕我失陪 Yes, well, I am on duty, so if you'll excuse me.
当然了 我看你你一直 在有机食品旁闲逛 Of course. I simply spied you loitering in organic produce
就想当然地以为你的时间很充裕 and assumed you had time on your hands.
也许你应该监视一下其他人 Well, maybe I'm not the one you should be keeping an eye on.
那是电冰箱大王 他名叫乔治·批发商 That's the Fridge Magnate. His name's George Merchant.
靠经营厨具发了财 却在诺里斯街上盖怪房 Made a fortune in kitchen goods. Built that monstrosity on Norris Avenue.
其实 我没在说他 Actually, I wasrt talking about him.
我指的是他 I was talking about him.
失陪了 Excuse me.
你在做什么? Excuse me.
《超级警察》 (DANNY READING)
所向披靡的警察 "Meet the cop that can't be stopped."
臭小子! Tosser!
主干道有情况 Trouble in the high street.
天使警官有了点小麻烦 Sergeant Angel's having a spot of bother.
收到 Roger that.
早 警官 Morning, Sergeant.
你他妈的 You mothers.
- 我们从这里穿过去 截他的道 - 穿过花园? - Let's cut through here. Head him off. - Through the gardens?
怎么了 胖子? 你从来没抄过小道? What's the matter, Danny? You never taken a shortcut before.
嘿 把那给我! Hey, give me that!
你有权保持沉默 "You do not have to say anything, however it may harm your defence
但你所作的回答 都可作为法庭上不利于你辩护的证据 "if you fail to mention when questioned something you later rely on in court.
你所说的一切都将作为呈堂证供 "Anything you do say can be given in evidence."
- 嗨 胖子 - 怎样 彼得? - Hi, Danny. - All right, Pete?
你认识他? Do you know this man?
嗯 他是安迪·杰姬的妹妹的 哥哥的儿子 Yeah, he's Auntie Jackie's sister's brother's boy.
以前怎么没听你提起过? And it didn't occur to you to mention this before?
我不是看不见他的脸吗? 我又不是透视眼 Couldrt see his face, could I? I'm not made of eyes.
干得漂亮 Impressive collar.
可惜扒皮先生不想起诉 Shame Mr Skinner doesn't want to press charges.
什么意思 他不想起诉? What do you mean, he doesn't wanna press charges?
我只是觉得在彼得提高犯罪率之前 I'm simply suggesting that, you know, Peter be given a second chance
应该再给他次机会 before he becomes just another crime statistic.
我确信这对他来说是次宝贵的教训 I'm sure he's going to learn a valuable lesson.
- 偷饼干是大错? - 就是嘛 - Stealing biscuits is wrong? - Correct.
谢谢 Thanks.
那我们就不采取任何惩罚性措施? And yet we respond by not taking a single punitive measure?
瞧 曲奇不已经碎了嘛 Well, that's the way the cookie crumbles.
饼干也是 是吧? Like the biscuits, isn't it?
- 扒皮先生... - 一切都还好吧? - Mr Skinner... - Is everything all right?
长官 扒皮先生不希望起诉 Well, sir, Mr Skinner feels it would be better not to prosecute an individual
一名已经犯过罪的人 that has committed a blatant offence.
我来接手吧 Leave this with me.
我一定会给大家个满意的交代 I'll make sure everyone gets their just deserts.
哦 不! Oh, no!
- 你看过《终极豪情》吗? - 没 - Have you ever seen Point Break? - No.
在电影里的 他们跳过栅栏时的样子太酷了 Amazing bit in Point Break where they jump over fences.
是吗? 29KM/H Is there now? Twenty-nine.
帕特里克· 斯韦兹刚抢银行 基努·里维斯穿过公园去追捕他 Patrick Swayze's just robbed this bank and Keanu Reeves is chasing him
他打算朝斯韦兹开枪但他做不到 through people's gardens, and he goes to shoot Swayze but he can't,
因为他太爱他了 'cause he loves him so much,
他朝天开了枪 他就像这样...啊~~~ and he's firing his gun up in the air, he's like...
你有没有朝天开过枪然后狂叫? Have you ever fired your gun up in the air and gone...
没有 我从没朝天开过枪 也没狂叫 No, I have not ever fired my gun up in the air and gone...
对不起 我只是有时觉得我白混了 Sorry, I... I just... I just feel like I'm missing out sometimes.
- 我想跟你做同样的事 - 你就在做我做的事 - I wanna do what you do. - You do, do what I do.
你怎么会觉得你白混了呢? What on earth do you think you're missing out on?
没经历过枪战 汽车追逐战 没执行过什么任务之类的 Gun fights. Car chases. Proper action and shit.
警察的工作不是大行动或之类的 Police work is not about proper action or shit.
如果你有认真听 我在学校的演讲的话 If you had paid attention to me in school,
你就会知道打击犯罪 不是枪战或汽车追逐战 you'd understand that it's not all about gun fights and car chases.
拉响警灯 Fire up the roof.
真是太帅了 That was brilliant.
我开得有点快了吗 长官? Was I going a tad fast, Officer?
是啊 确实 吹牛皮先生 Yes, you were, Mr Blower.
要知道 我们正在准备威廉姆·莎士比亚的 《罗密欧与朱丽叶》歌舞剧 Well, now, you see, we are staging a homage to William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet
我有点赶不上试装排练了 and I'm a little late for the dress rehearsal.
我扮演的是位英雄 I'm playing the eponymous hero, you see.
罗密欧 不是朱丽叶 Romeo not Juliet.
- 你在写什么? - 你说的每一句话 - What are you writing? - Everything you're saying.
我以后可能会用的上 I might need to refer to it later.
长官 我是名有地位的律师 所以没必要... Now, Officer, I am a respected solicitor so there's no need to...
别写了 好不好? Just stop writing, will you?
听着 我只不过想解释 我速度"快"的原因 Look, I'm merely trying to explain why I might have exceeded the speed limit.
你在莎士比亚的《罗密欧与朱丽叶》 歌舞剧担任男主角 You're playing the male lead in a homage to William Shakespeare's
你快要赶不上试装排演了 Romeo and Juliet and you're late for the dress rehearsal.
你觉得在限速30KM/H的道路上 开到48KM/H 这个理由充分吗? You think this is sufficient reason to travel at 48 in a 30 zone?
- 唔 我... - 无视限速 - Well, I... - To flout speed limits
- 尤其是至人民生命于不顾 - 岂有此理 - specifically put in place to save lives. - Just, look, this is preposterous.
- "岂有此理" - 听着 别写了! - "Preposterous." - Look, just stop writing!
"别写了" "Stop writing."
听着 你是对的 我承认错误 Look, you're right, I apologise.
- 看见我怎么做的了吧? - 你忽悠了他 - See what I did there? - You hypnotised him.
不 我利用了这个 No, I used this.
这是你所拥有的最重要的装备 This is the most important piece of equipment you will ever own.
它已经不知道救过我多少次了 This notebook has saved my skin more times than I care to mention.
你也该考虑多用用你的那本 You should think about using yours more often.
- 我当然在用了 - 给我看看 - I do use mine. - Show me.
- 真是太有才了 - 你该再看看反面 - That's just extraordinary. - You should see the one on the other side.
- 今晚干什么? - 给我的白鹤芋浇水 - What are you up to tonight? - I have to water my Peace Lily.
你肯定有想要做的事 Thought you might wanna do something.
- 你到底在打什么主意? - 不知道 去酒馆? - What exactly were you thinking? - Don't know. Pub?
我觉得那不是个好主意 你呢? I don't think that's a good idea. Do you?
你们两个 You two.
吹牛皮先生给你们留了今晚 《罗密欧与朱丽叶》的票 A Mr Blower left you tickets for Romeo and Juliet tonight.
说是想略表歉意 Said it was by way of an apology.
- 是吗? - 嗯 - Yeah? - Yeah.
我们不能接受一名 有公务往来的人的礼物 所以... Well, we can't accept gifts from somebody we've officially rebuked. So...
是啊 Yeah.
尼古拉斯 还好赶上了 Nicholas. Glad I caught you.
你们能不能今晚代表大家 出席那个演出 Wondered if you wouldn't mind representing us at the am drams tonight.
- 当然了 长官 - 还有一张给丹尼的 - Yes, sir, of course. - And there's a spare for Danny, too.
高兴点 或许很好看 Yeah! Hey, come on, it might be fun.
与迷人的死亡做永久的交易 A dateless bargain to engrossing death.
献给我的爱人 Here's to my love.
现在 Now.
毒药? 我要亲你的嘴唇 Poison? I'll kiss thy lips.
还好上面还残有点毒药 Happily some poison doth yet hang on them.
天使警官 你好 给《沙福德公民报》讲几句话吧 Sergeant Angel, hi-hi. Quick word for the Sandford Citizen.
很精彩 It was very enjoyable.
- 警察喜爱观看年轻人的爱情故事? - 我没这么说 - "Cop Enjoys Watching Young Lovers"? - I don't think so.
本地警察对年轻人的自杀表示赞赏? "Local Bobby Gives Thumbs Up To Teen Suicide"?
那是非常不合适的 That's just grossly inappropriate.
这次你不会写错他的名字了吧 小提姆? You will try and spell his name correctly this time, won't you, Timothy?
真是瞎胡闹 不是吗? Absolute tosh, wasrt it?
可恶的是 那些替角才是专业演员 And annoyingly, the understudies are actually professional actors.
那边的格雷格曾在《稻草狗》 做临时演员 Greg over there was an extra in Straw Dogs
谢莉曾在《嫌疑重犯》中演过死尸 and Sheree portrayed a cadaver in Prime Suspect.
天使警官 你来了啊? Sergeant Angel, you came?
你能接受邀请真是受宠若惊 So thrilled you accepted my invitation.
是督察要我们参加的 所以... Well, our Inspector requested we attend. So...
是啊 我们不能接受一名 有公务往来的人的礼物 所以... Yeah, we can't accept gifts from someone we've officially rebuked so...
去死吧 Jog on.
祝贺你和吹牛皮夫人 Congratulations to you and to Mrs Blower.
啊 这不是我妻子 这是德瑞帕小姐 我的女主角 Oh, this is not my wife. This is Miss Draper. My leading lady.
伊芙在当地村委会工作 警官 是位通晓内幕的小姐 [导演：伊芙德瑞帕的英文谐音就是"偷听者"(eavesdropper)] Eve works in the local council, Sergeant. Quite the lady in the know.
- 才不是呢 - 胡说 - I am not. - Nonsense.
我保证如果敲开你的头 各种各样的秘密都会跳出来 I'm sure if we bashed your head in, all sorts of secrets would come tumbling out.
罗密欧 罗密欧 给罗密欧来一杯苦啤酒? Romeo, Romeo, a pint of bitter for Romeo?
欢迎你的到来 乔治 怠慢了 Thank you very much for coming, George. Excuse us.
很荣幸 陛下 A pleasure, my liege.
- 伊芙很漂亮 是吧? - 她的笑真是与众不同 - Eve's nice, ain't she? - She certainly has a distinctive laugh.
在学校时她跟我同年级 总是有关于她的绯闻 She was in my year at school. Always had a thing for her.
很显然她跟那年长的男人有绯闻 She clearly has a thing for older men.
什么 跟马丁·吹牛皮搞? 不可能! What, with Martin Blower? No way!
我们才看了那所谓的 长达三小时的演出 巡警 We just sat through three hours of so-called acting, Constable,
演得最投入的就是那吻了 their kiss was the only convincing moment in it.
嘿 既然你提到这点 Hey, now you come to mention it,
我也有理由相信她对年长的人有偏好 I too have reason to believe she favours the older gent.
真的? 什么理由? Really? How so?
马库斯·坎特的哥哥说 他曾在鸭池旁帮他手淫到高潮 Marcus Can'ter's big brother said he'd fingered her up the duck pond.
啊 警官 Oh, Officers.
为我先前的行为 再次致以我最诚挚的歉意 Again let me extend my sincere apologies for earlier.
没什么的 吹牛皮先生 小心开车 That's quite all right, Mr Blower. Drive safe.
"小心开车" 我的天 "Drive safe." Oh, my God.
要知道那家伙才因超速 被我们处理了呢 You know that's the bloke we done for speeding earlier.
是啊 但愿这是我们最后一次见到他 Yeah. Hopefully, that's the last we'll see of him.
谁啊? Who is it?
快来吧 We haven't got long.
今宵漫漫 To us.
谁啊? Who is it?
嗯? Yeah?
- 脱咖啡因的? - 脱咖啡因的? ...decaffeinated? - Decaffeinated?
小布莱恩·利比在送报途中发现他们的 Little Brian Libby found them, out on his paper round.
他可要做上一阵子噩梦了 Oh, he'll be having nightmares for a while.
肯定是以某个速度撞上牌子 把头都给切掉了 Must have hit the sign at some speed. Took the whole top off.
- 开这么靠边我头也掉了 - 靠 - I've had my top off in this lay-by. - Tits.
最有可能是失控 从那边冲出道路然后停在这里 Most likely lost control, left the road there and then ended up here.
那么 你们说呢? So, what do we reckon?
天使警官? Sergeant Angel?
我们应该拉上警戒线 别让公众看到现场 Well, we should get a proper cordon off, screen the remains from public view.
在救护队到来之前封闭道路 Close down the road until the ambulance crew arrives,
我们可以开条单行道来舒缓交通拥挤 whereupon we should open a single lane of traffic and ease congestion.
非常好 Very good.
照他说的做 What he said.
- 发生了什么事 丹尼? - 车祸 - What happened, Danny? - Car accident.
太糟糕了 Nasty way to go.
巡警 官方指南规定 Constable, official vocab guidelines state
我们不再把这类事件称为"灾祸" 而称之为"冲突" we no longer refer to these incidents as "accidents," they're now "collisions."
明白 Right.
"从来没有故事能比 罗密欧与朱丽叶更令人哀痛" (莎士比亚剧台词) "For never was there a story of more woe. Than this of Juliet and her Romeo."
- 什么? - 马丁与伊芙 真是场悲剧 - Excuse me? - Martin and Eve. Such a tragedy.
扒皮先生 能否告诉我 Mr Skinner, do you mind telling me
你怎么知道受害人的身份? how you know the identity of the persons involved?
事实就是这样 好事不出门 坏事传千里 You know how it is. News travels fast.
爱情撞上了罗密欧 一路哼着小曲 A love struck Romeo sings a streetsus serenade
- 发生什么了 丹尼? - 交通冲突 - What happened, Danny? - Traffic collision.
嘿 为什么不能称之为事故呢? Hey, why can't we say "accident" again?
因为"事故"暗示着没人会受到谴责 Because "accident" implies there's nobody to blame.
别小题大做了 街鼠 Put a sock in it, town mouse.
你想在这小镇子做出大成就 他妈的滚出模范村庄 Yeah, you wanna be a big cop in a small town, fuck off up the model village.
我只是说 事情不总是像看上去的那么简单 I'm just saying, things aren't always as simple as they look.
绝大部分情况是 Most times they are.
先看看孵化器医生的化验结果 Let's just wait till Doctor Hatcher comes back with something,
再跳出来射你的冲锋枪 before you go jumping the Kalashnikov.
好吧 与此同时 你们为什么不查查马丁·吹牛皮的客户? All right, in the meantime, why don't you check out a few of Martin Blower's clients?
马丁·吹牛皮是村里大部分人的代理 Martin Blower represents damn near most of the village.
你想要我们查遍整个电话簿吗? Did you want us to go through the whole phone book?
是啊 先打给艾伦·艾·艾伦的儿子 好吗? (电话簿按字母排序A-Z开始) Yeah, or put a call into Aaron A. Aaronson, shall we?
请别这么幼稚 Please, don't be childish.
至少考虑去调查下马丁妻子 At least consider interviewing the widow.
马丁·吹牛皮很明显跟伊芙·德瑞帕 有风流韵事 Martin Blower was clearly having an affair with Eve Draper.
啊 你怎么这么确定? Oh, and how did you establish that?
因为我们昨晚看了那所谓的 长达三小时的演出 'Cause we sat through three hours of so-called acting last night,
他们演得最真的就是那吻了 and the kiss was the only convincing moment in it.
好吧 闭嘴 大胖子 All right, pipe down, big one.
那么 你还发现了谁的关系? 克罗基特与黛比? Here, what else you got, Crockett and Tubby?
- 刹车痕 - 现在谁在幼稚了? - Skid marks. - Now who's being childish?
车祸现场没有刹车痕 There were no skid marks at the scene.
马丁·吹牛皮的车失控后也不踩刹车 Doesrt it seem a little strange that Martin Blower would lose control of his car
不觉得有点奇怪吗? and not think to apply the brakes?
没有刹车痕 也就是说300码内 If there were no skid marks it follows
司机与乘客都没做出举动来保命 that for 300 yards both driver and passenger did nothing to prevent their fate.
这么简单的道理不用想都知道 You don't have to be a detective to work that out!
就是 Yeah.
- 你们惹麻烦了吗? - 是啊 是他们 - Are you causing trouble? - Yes, they are.
艾尔罗伊的农场有了点小状况 Well, a spot of bother up at Ellroy Farm.
老亚瑟·温布利剪掉了不属他的篱笆 Old Arthur Webley's been clipping hedgerows that don't belong to him.
- 所以呢 长官? - 就这样 - Yes, sir? - That's it.
是的 长官? Yes, sir.
- 为什么要带条狗? - 我们需要狗的主人 - Why do we need the dog? - It's not the dog we need.
好了 Right.
他说什么? What did he say?
- 他说什么? - 他说 不就是条分界线 - What did he say? - He said, "An 'edge is an 'edge.
篱笆挡了他的视线 就砍掉喽 "He only chopped it down 'cause it spoilt his view.
收割机有啥好烦? "What's Reaper moaning about? "
好 Right.
我很同情你的处境 温布利先生 Look, I appreciate your position, Mr Webley,
但你不能在不经允许的情况下 砍倒别人的篱笆 but you can't go around chopping down other people's hedges without permission.
嗯 我想是的 "Yes, I suppose."
谢谢 Thank you.
好的 All right.
温布利先生 我想你有持枪证吧? Mr Webley, I trust you have a licence for that firearm?
他有这支枪的证 He does for this one.
有这支的证是什么意思? What do you mean by "this one"?
我的老天爷! By the power of Grey Skull.
你从哪儿搞来这些的? Where on earth did you get these?
- 找到的 - 他找到的! - Found them. - He found them!
- 这是什么? - 水雷 - And what is this? - Sea mine.
水雷 Sea mine.
温布利先生 这是件极其危险的收藏品 Well, Mr Webley, this is an extremely dangerous collection.
没人因此受伤真是奇迹 It's a wonder nobody's been hurt before.
这只是堆破铜烂铁 No, it's just a lot of junk.
跑 跑 快跑! Move, move, move!
- 你什么? - 不 貌似是枚死雷 完毕 - You what? - No, apparently it's been deactivated. Over.
没错 死了! That's right, deactivated!
- 不是活的 - 看上去还像阿 - It's not live. - It looks live.
好吧 All right.
今天真是大获丰收啊 黄油男巡警 That was quite an impressive haul today, Constable Butterman.
是啊 我说也许该做些什么庆祝一下 Well, you know, I mean, maybe we should do something to celebrate.
除非你要给你的白鹤芋浇水 Unless you gotta water your Peace Lily.
- 你到底打什么主意? - 我不知道 去酒馆? - What exactly did you have in mind? - I don't know. Pub?
就来 亲爱的 Right you are, my love.
你好 先生们 要点什么? Yes, sirs, what can I get you?
请来一杯啤酒 罗伊 Pint of lager, please, Roy.
除了酸果蔓汁你想要什么? And what can I get you that isn't a cranberry juice?
- 我不想喝醉 - 喝个三分醉就行了 - I don't really wanna get drunk. - You can get a little drunk.
- 好吧 来一杯 - 嗯 就要这样嘛 - Okay, I'll have one. - Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
黑啤先生 你还收藏什么酒? Mr Porter, what's your wine selection?
啊 我们有红的 还有白的 Oh, we got red or white.
- 我还是也来一杯啤酒吧 - 好啊 罗伊 - I'll have a pint of lager, please. - Yeah, Roy.
- 早先的事情有什么消息吗? - 嗯 CSI什么都没发现 - Any news from earlier? - Yeah. CSI found nothing.
孵化器医生报告称没有谋杀迹象 吹牛皮夫人有四个不在犯罪现场证明 Doctor Hatcher reported no misadventure and Mrs Blower has four alibis.
拜托 警官 你的职责不包括调查这件事 对吧? Now, come on, Sergeant, it's not your job to investigate this incident, is it?
对吧? Is it?
当然不包括 - No, it isn't. - No, it isn't.
- 你放不下工作 对吧? - 你的口气就像我前女友 - You don't switch off, do you? - You sound like my ex.
- 你总是考虑得太多了 - 我就这样 - Well, you are always thinking away. - It's what I do.
- 别误解了 我觉得很令人惊叹 - 真的? - Don't get me wrong. I think it's amazing. - Really?
我说你为什么想当男警察? I mean, what made you wanna be a policeman?
是警务人员 Officer.
你为什么想当男警务人员? What made you wanna be a policeman-officer?
我不记得我什么时候想当警务人员了 I don't remember a time when I didn't wanna be a police officer.
1979的夏天之前我的理想是当青蛙克米特 (木偶剧《芝麻街》中的着名角色) Apart from the summer of 1979 when I wanted to be Kermit the Frog.
都是受我叔叔德里克的影响 他在伦敦警察队做警官 It all started with my Uncle Derek. He was a Sergeant in the Met.
在5岁时他带给我辆警用踏板车 He bought me a police pedal car when I was five.
除了睡觉 我都骑它去抓比我大1倍的孩子 I rode round in it every second I was awake.
因为他们乱扔垃圾和随地吐痰 Arresting kids twice my size for littering and spitting.
我小时候没少挨揍 但那没能令我退缩 I got beaten up a lot when I was young but it didn't stop me.
我想要成为德里克叔叔那样的人 I wanted to be like Uncle Derek.
听起来他是个好人 He sounds like a good bloke.
实际上 他因向学生兜售毒品而被捕 Actually, he was arrested for selling drugs to students.
真是个龟孙子 What a cunt.
也许那辆车也是用赃款买的 Probably bought the pedal car with the proceeds.
不用说我再也没骑过那辆车 把它放一边生锈了 Needless to say I never went near it again. I just let it rust.
但那在踏板车上声张正义的感觉 But I never forgot the clear sense of right and wrong
我永远不会忘怀 that I felt at the wheel of that pedal car.
我要证明给自己看 法律是公平正义 I had to prove to myself that the law could be proper
有益于人类的 and righteous and for the good of humankind.
从那刻起 我就立志当一名警务人员 It was from that moment, I was destined to be a police officer.
- 可惜啊 - 为什么? - Shame. - How so?
要不你就成为一个伟大的木偶了 I think you would've made a great muppet.
那你呢? 你为什么想当警务人员? What about you? What made you wanna become a police officer?
我不知道 反正我爸是 I don't know. Dad does it.
我想自从老妈死后 他只想好好照看我 I think after my mum died, it's what he wanted, you know, keep me close by.
- 介意我问一下她的死因是? - 交通冲突 - Do you mind if I ask how she died? - Traffic collision.
对不起 I'm sorry.
没关系 嘿 看好了 Never mind. Hey, watch this.
- 我的上帝! - 啊 我的眼睛! - Jesus Christ! - Oh, my eye!
拜托 别这么沉闷了 快喝 Hey, come on, silly bollocks, get them in.
- 777 - 扒皮先生 - 777. - Mr Skinner.
- 你认识乔治·批发商吧? - 晚上好 警官 - You know George Merchant, don't you? - Evening, Officer.
我们刚刚正在谈论车祸呢 Yes, we were just discussing the accident.
我最近才结识了马丁与伊芙 I'd come to know Martin and Eve very well of late.
就这么去了 Such a loss.
为了他们的死喝一杯吧? What say we drink to their demise?
应该是为了纪念他们喝一杯吧? Shouldrt that be "drink to their memories"?
当然了 干杯 Of course. Cheers.
我要回我的小闺房了 I must go to the little boys' room.
- 我没事! - 他说的不完全对 - I'm all right! - "Little" being the operative word.
明天才会变得更"小" Oh, he'll be in bits tomorrow.
我想有人得回家了 I think somebody needs to go home.
- 我还没那么醉呢 长官 - 不是你 是他 - I'm... I'm not that drunk, sir. - Not you. Him.
怎么了? What?
嘿 我们有点小醉了 你呢? Hey, we did get a little drunk. Did you get it?
因为他很小 所以他醉了 'Cause he's... He's little and he's drunk.
啊 天哪! Oh, good grief.
与整个村庄的风格 格格不入 是吧? It's hardly in keeping with the village's rustic aesthetic, is it?
- 我欠你多少? - 20磅 - How much do I owe you? - Twenty quid.
拿去 There you go.
- 这是你的找零 - 上帝保佑你 - And there's your change. - God bless you.
再见 Bye-bye.
我没事 I'm all right.
我明早可不想像他一样 I would not wanna be him in the morning.
唔 我家到了 Well, this is me.
那明天早上见了 Well, I shall see you in the morning.
进来喝一杯咖啡吗? Unless you wanna come in for a cup of coffee?
- 我不喝咖啡 - 茶呢? - I don't drink coffee. - Tea?
我正午后不喝含咖啡因的东西 No caffeine after midday.
啤酒呢? How about another beer?
啊 天那 Oh, dear.
- 你什么时候搬来的? - 大概5年前 - When did you move in? - About five years ago.
- 你应该搞些室内绿化 - 啊 是啊 - You should get some house plants. - Oh, yeah, yeah.
我已经照看我的白鹤芋快三年了 Yeah. I've been tending my Peace Lily for about three years now.
它能净化空气 有助思考 缓解压力 It oxygenates the room, helps you think, relieves stress.
需求却不大 Its needs are simple.
珍妮常说我爱花胜过她 Janine used to say I love my Lily more than I loved her.
- 那就是你们分手的原因? - 什么? - Is that why you split up? - What?
- 因为你跟植物干那事? - 不 不是 - 'Cause you did it with a plant? - No, no, no.
更多的是因为我沉迷于工作 It was more about me being obsessed with the job.
那样很好啊 不是吗? That's good though, right?
是吗? Is it though?
我错过了许多晚餐 派对 还有一到两个生日 I did miss a few dinners. You know, parties, a birthday or two.
- 听着伙计 我... - 还有他父亲的葬礼 - Listen, mate, I... - Her dad's funeral.
- 我只是想做好我的本职工作 - 你已经做得很好了 - I just wanna be good at what I do. - You are good at what you do.
你只需要关掉你脑袋里的开关 You've just gotta learn to switch off that big old melon of yours.
那正是问题所在 丹尼 That's the whole problem, Danny.
我不知道该怎么做 I don't think I know how.
我可以告诉你怎么办 I can show you how.
我的老天爷! By the power of Grey Skull.
《终极豪情》还是《绝地战警2》? Point Break or Bad Boys II?
你觉得我更适合看哪个? Which one do you think I'll prefer?
不 我是说你想先看哪个? No, I mean which one do you wanna watch first?
你耍我吗? You are pulling my leg?
你觉得怎么样? What did you think of that?
我承认这片子很疯狂 惊险刺激 Well, I won't argue that it was a no holds barred,
但你造成这么严重的流血冲突 adrenalin fuelled thrill ride but there's no way you could perpetrate
是不可能避免繁重的书面报告 that amount of carnage and mayhem and not incur a considerable amount of paperwork.
那算什么 伙计 That is nothing, man.
这才叫火爆! This is about to go off.
这要变成现实了 This shit just got real.
真是惨啊 Nasty way to go.
我想批发商是想炸点东西吃 但没关煤气阀 I think our Mr Merchant tried to have a little fry up and left the gas on.
毕生都献给了电冰箱 Spends his whole life devoted to the refrigerator
却被电烤炉给杀了 then gets killed by an oven.
我告诉过他多次 深更半夜就不要吃东西了 I told him several times, you shouldn't eat late at night.
啊 我不知道 我喜欢夜宵 Oh, I don't know. I quite like a little midnight gobble.
靠 Cocks.
那你们怎么想 天使? So, what do we reckon? Angel?
帮帮我 Help me.
好的 我们要拉起警戒线 先让消防队做完工作 Okay, we get a proper cordon up, we let the fire crews finish their stuff,
然后我们找人来对房子进行彻底的清理 and then we get forensics in to do a thorough sweep of the house.
非常好 照他说的做 Very good. What he said.
天使警官 你好 讲两句话吧? Sergeant Angel, hi-hi. A quick word?
情报员先生 我们随后会发表声明的 Mr Messenger, a statement will be issued shortly.
实际上 我只是想问 "你完美周日是什么样子? Actually, I just wanted to ask, "What's your perfect Sunday? "
我来应付媒体吧 警官 I'll deal with the press, Sergeant.
我完美的周日是舒舒服服地躺在... Now, my perfect Sunday is a lovely long lie in...
大火会掩盖你所做的一切 Fire to destroy all you've done
就跟电影里一样 Like in the films.
是有点像 有点像《烈火雄心》 Something like, something out of Backdraft.
- 你怎么看 谋杀吗? - 也许 - What are you thinking? Foul play? - Maybe.
我们想找最后见过批发商 的两个人谈谈 We're just hoping to talk to the last people to see Mr Merchant alive.
那就是你可拉屎·擦屁股警官 和胖尼·奶油包巡警 Namely a Sergeant Knickerless Asswipe and a Constable Fanny Batterbum.
- 是我们 - 你们觉得很搞笑吗? - That's us. - Why is this such a big joke to you?
一周内死了三个人 Three people have died in a week.
啊 拜托 福尔摩斯 这都是些意外 Oh, come on, Doctor Sherlock, they were accidents.
意外天天有 People have accidents every day.
- 受害者是有关联的 - 这里的人都有关联的 - The victims knew each other. - Everyone knows everyone round here.
是啊 只有你这个没有关联的人 才会瞎怀疑 Yeah. If you didn't see anything suspicious, then who did?
恐怕有一点点的盲区 It's a bit of a blind spot, I'm afraid.
我们只恰好捕捉到了爆炸边缘 We just catch the very edge of the explosion.
太糟了 Nasty way to go.
- 但有件东西吸引了我 - 真的吗? 是什么? - There was something took my eye. - Really? What's that?
沙福德的头号通缉犯 Sandford's most wanted.
满意了吧 是天鹅干的 There you go. It was the swan all along.
- 这不好笑 侦探! - 放弃吧 侦探小姐 - This is not funny, Detective! - Oh, give over, Miss Marples.
你走你的阳关道 我过我的独木桥 Yeah, you do your job and we'll do ours, eh?
你不是要参加教堂的活动吗? Yeah. Havert you got a church fete to look after?
不 我没有! No, I have not!
实际上有的 Actually.
试音 试音 Testing. Testing.
女士们 先生们 3点会有神秘嘉宾 (拯救教堂屋顶) Someone's in for a surprise at 3:00, ladies and gentlemen.
将由我们特别推选的嘉宾进行抽奖 (拯救教堂屋顶) It's the raffle with a very special guest presenter.
乡间野外 Out in the country
远离城市的喧嚣 Far from all the sorts of noise of the city
有个绿色村庄 There's a village green
很久没有见到过尖顶的教堂 It's been a long time since I last set eyesOn the church with a steeple
我喝了两杯酒后就这样 That's me after a couple of pints.
拍老鼠 Splat the rat.
鲨鱼! Shark!
看见什么谋杀了吗 尼古拉斯? Seen any murderings, Nicholarse?
拜托 孩子们 别烦天使警官 他在工作 Come on, boys. Leave Sergeant Angel alone, he's working.
对不起 长官 不会再浪费警察的时间了 Sorry, Chief, won't waste any more police time.
过得愉快 Have a nice time.
实际上 尼古拉斯 你也可以休息一下 Actually, Nicholas, you might as well take a break.
嘿 太棒了 给你看样东西 Hey, great. I've got something to show you.
- 这是个莱福枪射击场 - 你一定很在行的 - This is a rifle range. - You'll be really good at it.
今天手气好吗 警官? Feeling lucky, Sergeant?
射中三个罐子得吱吱兔 五个得邋遢狮 Three cans wins you the squeaky bunny, five cans gets you the floppy lion.
射倒所有的小人 你就可以跟抱抱猴跳华尔兹了 Take out all the little people, you get to waltz off with the cuddly monkey.
我还以为你明白我对火枪的看法的 I thought I made it clear to you how I feel about firearms.
只是空气枪而已 It's only an air rifle.
警官 Sergeant.
我的天! Dear Lord!
神枪手啊 That was amazing.
- 谢谢你 丹尼 - 真不敢相信我射中人了 - Thank you, Danny. - I can't believe I shot someone.
- 他是名医生 他能应付得来了 - 我以前从未射过人 - He's a doctor, he can deal with it. - I never shot anyone before.
丹尼 相信我 你适应不了那种感觉的 Danny, believe me, it's not something you ever get used to.
是啊 也许我们该去蹦蹦堡 Yeah. Maybe we should go on the bouncy castle.
放松下心情 Take our minds off of it.
- 天使警官 嗨嗨! - 情报员先生 - Sergeant Angel, hi-hi. - Mr Messenger.
我要单独跟你谈谈乔治·批发商 I need to talk to you about George Merchant. Alone.
在墓地 3点钟 Churchyard. 3:00.
你觉得他想干什么 What do you think he wants?
请天使警官到台上来 好吗? Would Sergeant Angel come to the stage, please?
宣布获奖者的是最新加入 沙福德治安机关的... Here to announce the winners is the newest addition to the Sandford Police Force.
是部门 Service.
尼古拉斯·天使警官 Sergeant Nicholas Angel.
- 鸡巴 - 手淫猪 - Prick. - Wanker.
喂 喂 Hello. Hello.
[彩票]
第一位是西蒙·扒皮 The first name is Simon Skinner.
他在洗手间 He's in the loo.
也许是喝了太多乔伊丝的柠檬水 Too much of Joyce's lemonade, perhaps.
下一个是... And the next name is...
提姆·情报员
提姆 轮到你了 Tim, your number's up.
借过 借过 Excuse me. Excuse me.
嗨嗨 Hi-hi.
啊 不! Oh, no!
靠后 靠后 发生了一件意外 Stand back, stand back! There's been a terrible accident.
- 意外? - 只是起事故而已 - Accident? - Just an accident.
没事了 没事了 没什么好看的. It's all right, it's all right. There's nothing to see.
拜托大伙儿 没事了 只是起事故而已 Come on, everybody. It's all right. It's just an accident.
尼古拉斯 怎么了? Nicholas, what is it?
长官 我觉得这些死亡都是有联系的 我认为提姆·情报员死于谋杀 Sir, I think all these deaths are linked. I think Tim Messenger was murdered.
- 谁会这么做呢? - 也许是天鹅 - Who could do something like this? - Maybe it was the swan.
- 很明显 它们能打断人的肩膀 - 或者是炸掉房子 - Apparently, they can break a mars arm. - Or blow up a mars house.
- 听着 你们这对... - 停 停 尼古拉斯 - Listen, you pair of... - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Nicholas.
让我直截了当吧 Now, let me get this straight.
- 你说这是犯罪现场? - 是的 长官 - Are you saying that this is a crime scene? - Yes, sir, I am.
非常好 Very well.
- 侦探们 - 长官 - Detectives. - Sir.
开始调查参与活动的所有人 Start interviewing everyone who was at the fete.
啊 他喝醉了 Oh, he's got shorts on.
- 渔夫警官? - 怎么了? - Sergeant Fisher? - What?
- 保护现场 - 什么? - Secure the area. - What?
- 茅屋匠警员? - 是的 亲爱的? - PC Thatcher? - Yes, love?
叫CSI过来 Get the CSI down here.
步行者警员? PC Walker?
带撒克逊巡逻墓地 Patrol the churchyard with Saxon.
尼古拉斯 丹尼 你们知道该怎么办 Nicholas, Danny, you know what to do.
你真的认为这是起谋杀? Do you really think this is murder?
我只是觉得有这个可能 I just don't think we should rule it out, that's all.
嗯 我想你是对的 Yeah. I think you're right.
我觉得你是在放屁 I think you're talking a load of old shit.
他觉得你在放屁 有进必有出嘛 对不对? He thinks you're talking a load of shit. Swings and roundabouts, isn't it?
讨厌鬼 Pain in the arse.
- 找到什么了吗? - 是啊 - Did you find anything? - Yeah.
我看了手表后 很吃惊自己怎么没在就酒馆里 I was extremely shocked when I looked at my watch and discovered that I should be in the pub.
你去过他的家吗? 你读过他的文章吗? Did you go to his house? Did you read his articles?
如果要读遍每份该死的 《沙福德公民报》 你自己干 If you wanna wade through every copy of the Sandford bloody Citizen, be our guest.
这不是你们的工作吗? 做调查! It's your job, isn't it? Detect!
这不是在市里 天使先生 并不是所有人都有谋杀精神病倾向 This ain't the city, Mr Angel. Not everyone's a murdering psychopath.
你和你的猴子现在该意识到了 It's high time you realised that. You and your monkey.
他是指我还是它? Did he mean me or that?
也许我们该回家 Oh, maybe we should go home.
- 你什么意思? - 这里又没什么活干? - What do you mean? - Well, there's nothing going on, is there?
你到底有没有听进我说的话? Have you listened to anything that I've said?
你指什么? What do you mean?
你的笨脑子有没有记住一点... Is anything I've told you in the last two weeks
- 我上两周说的话? - 有啊 - sunk into that thick skull of yours? - Yeah.
是吗? 比如? Has it? Like what?
你说我能成为一名出色的警务人员 You said I could be an amazing policeman-officer.
随时都会发生状况 丹尼 There's always something going on, Danny.
除非你明白这点 你就成不了一名出色的警务人员 And you won't be an amazing police officer until you understand that.
我记住了你所说的一些其他话 Well, I remembered something else you said and all.
- 啊 是吗? - 嗯 - Oh, did you now? - Yeah.
你不知道该如何放下工作! You don't know how to switch off!
有人给了你这个
如果想读遍每份该死的 《沙福德公民报》 自己干吧 Well, if you wanna wade through every copyof the Sandford bloody Citizen, be our guest.
布德福·艾比园艺 吊兰设计
本周沙福德家谱：扒皮家族
沙福德村民：乔治·批发商
"这只是沙福德计划的开端"
- 早上好 巡警 - 怎么? - Morning, Constable. - All right?
谢谢你把猴子送给我 Thanks for the monkey.
- 本来就是你的 - 我是为你赢的 - Yours, isn't it? - I won it for you.
胖子 我觉得我有些头绪了 Danny, I think I'm on to something.
- 是吗? - 是的 - Are you? - Yes.
我认为只要稍加思索 我们就能找出这些死亡间的联系 And I think with a little deliberation we can figure out what links these deaths.
- 我们? - 快来 搭档 有活干了 - We? - Come on, partner. Let's go to work.
啊 天使警官? Oh, oh, Sergeant Angel?
- 伦敦有人打电话找你 - 告诉他们我会回复的 - Someone from London called for you. - Tell them I'll call them back.
- 提姆·情报员 - 开始 - Tim Messenger. - Go.
《沙福德公民报》的记者及主编 Editor and journalist at The Sandford Citizen.
- 爱说双关语 - 继续 - Fondness for puns. - Go on.
- 老是拼错 - 哦 是吗? - Terrible speller. - Oh, yeah?
但他曾经报道过... Nevertheless had uncovered important information about...
- 乔治·批发商 - 一位白手起家的百万富翁 - George Merchant. - Self-made millionaire.
觉得自己是个地产投资商 Fancied himself as a property developer.
- 说他在沙福德里有个大计划 - 在皇冠酒馆里随地尿尿 - Said he had big plans for Sandford. - Pissed on the floor in The Crown.
但更重要的是 他还是谁的顾客和朋友? But more importantly, was a good friend and client of...
- 马丁·吹牛皮 - 令人尊敬的律师 - Martin Blower. - Respected solicitor.
- 是的 - 当地歌舞剧社团的重要人物 - Affirmatron. - Leading light of the local drama society.
- 演技很烂 - 没错 - Bad actor. - Undoubtedly.
- 驾驶技术不怎么样 - 难说 - Bad driver. - Not necessarily.
- 搞婚外恋 - 很显然 - Cheated on his missus. - Most certainly.
- 我们知道他情妇是谁 - 伊芙·德瑞帕 - And we both know who with. - Eve Draper.
- 吹牛皮的女主角 笑得够夸张 - 是啊 - Blower's leading lady. Distinctive laugh. - True.
- 喜欢上年纪的人 - 手淫 - Favoured older men. - Fingered.
- 在哪儿上班? - 村委会 - Worked at? - Council.
- 再具体点 - 计划发展部 - More specifically? - Department of Planning and Development.
乔治·批发商就在那儿 Where George Merchant secured permission
得到在诺里斯大道造那奇怪公寓的许可 to build his dubious mansion on Norris Avenue.
所以呢? So...
或许那些真的是意外 Maybe they were all accidents.
意外天天都有 People have accidents every day.
- 你们俩在做什么? - 没什么 - What are you two up to? - Nothing.
哦 那快看啊 Well, look sharp.
- 局里起火了 - 什么? - There's been reports of a fire in the station. - What?
祝你生日快乐 Happy birthday to you
- 胖子 你为什么不吭一声 - 我们不在忙嘛 - Danny, why didn't you say something? - We were working, werert we?
- 嘿 你去那儿? - 一点私事 - Hey, where are you going? - Personal errand.
你好啊 耕种机女士 Hello, Miss Tiller.
你这里有卖白鹤芋花吗? I was wondering, do you have any Japanese Peace Lilies?
有 有 Of course.
我刚准备打烊 I was just about to pop off, actually.
我总找不到剪刀 I can never find my scissors.
- 是要送给特别的人? - 是 是的 - Is this for someone special? - Yes. Yes, it is.
- 你要离开一阵吗 耕种机女士 - 是的 我要搬走了 - Are you going somewhere, Miss Tiller? - Yes. I'm moving away.
不介意我问一下您为什么要搬走吗? And why the move, if you don't mind me asking?
- 那我只对你一个人说... - 嗯? - Well, just between you and I... - Yes?
- 你知道那被炸飞的... - 乔治·批发商 - You know that fella who blew up? - George Merchant.
那个乔治·批发商 阿弥陀佛 想要买这块地皮 Well, George Merchant, God rest him, wanted to buy this land,
他送来律师 马丁·吹牛皮 阿弥陀佛 so he sends round his legal fella, Martin Blower, God rest him,
我那时就同意了 and I thought I might take them up on it.
除了娘娘腔表哥 我在这里没什么亲戚 I haven't really got that much family round here, save for Cousin Sissy.
所以我就签了合同 搬去布福德·艾比 So I thought I might take them up on the offer and move to Buford Abbey.
要张祝贺卡片吗? Would you like a card with this?
不 抱歉 你刚说那合同? No, sorry, you were talking about the offer?
那个 原来那马丁·吹牛皮 阿弥陀佛 Well, it turns out that Martin Blower, God rest him,
他知道这里要开一条新路 knew where the new bypass road is going
因为他想把伊芙·德瑞帕踢出村委会 阿弥陀佛 because he was knocking off Eve Draper from the council, God rest her,
还有那记者 阿弥陀佛 发现了这开道计划 and then that reporter, God rest him, finds out about the route
他告诉我这块地很值钱 and tells me this land's very valuable.
比乔治和马丁给的价要高10倍 阿弥陀佛 Ten times what George Merchant and Martin Blower, God rest them, offered me.
既然他们都过世了 我就决定自己来... So, with them having passed on, I decided to sell it on myself
卖给马丁 乔治和伊芙他们... to some folks from the city that Martin, George and Eve,
提起过的另一些生意人 阿弥陀佛 God rest the lot of them, had been talking to.
好像他们想造一个超级购物中心什么的 Apparently, they want to build a big shopping centre or something.
当然娘娘腔表哥不会愿意 Of course, Cousin Sissy won't be too happy about that,
但我觉得娘娘腔表哥可以去操... but as far as I'm concerned, Cousin Sissy can go and fuck...
你能不能等我一下 Would you just excuse me, for just one second?
站住! Stop!
我以法律的名义命令你! In the name of the law!
慢着...慢着... Hang about, hang about.
你说这不是意外? You're saying this wasrt an accident?
莱丝莉·耕种机是操他妈被谋杀的! Leslie Tiller was fucking murdered!
- 怎么 和提姆 情报员一样? - 是的! - What, just like Tim Messenger? - Yes!
- 还有乔治 批发商? - 是的! - And George Merchant? - Yes!
- 伊芙·德瑞帕? - 是的! - And Eve Draper? - Yes!
- 那马丁·吹牛皮? - 那倒不是 - And Martin Blower? - No, actually.
- 真的? - 操他妈的是! - Really? - 'Course he fucking was!
谢了 胖子 Thank you, Danny.
哦 谋杀 谋杀 谋杀 还要他妈的修改记录了 Oh, murder, murder, murder. Change the fucking record.
谢了 安迪 Thank you, Andy.
拜托 警官 你必须面对现实 这只是件意外 Come on, Sergeant, you've gotta accept it was just another nasty accident.
那你是什么意思? What are you suggesting?
莱丝莉·耕种机跌倒在自己的剪刀上? That Leslie Tiller tripped and fell on her own shears?
本·弗莱彻前几周跌倒在草耙上 Ben Fletcher fell on his pitchfork the other week.
就是 有意外是很正常的 你凭什么觉得这是谋杀? Yeah, accidents happen all the time. What makes you think it was murder?
- 因为我就在现场! - 那你说说... - Because I was there! - There's a point.
你当时在哪儿做什么? Why were you there?
我在买黄油男警员的生日礼物 I was buying Constable Butterman a Japanese Peace Lily for his birthday.
说什么鬼话 What absolute horseshit.
我追过逃离现场的疑犯 无辜的人为什么要逃跑! I chased a suspect from the scene. Innocent people don't run!
或许是个惯犯 专偷仙人掌 Here, maybe it was our old friend, the cactus thief.
那他身上的刺还有够多的 Oh, yeah, he was a prickly customer, werert he?
难道是我疯了吗? Am I going completely mad?
或许...是疯了 Maybe you are.
或许...是你干的 Maybe you did it.
就是 你总把谋杀挂嘴上 Yeah, seeing as how you're such a big fan of murder.
- 我操你... - 天使警官 - What the... - Sergeant Angel?
什么? ! 长官 Yes! Sir.
尼古拉斯 尼古拉斯 尼古拉斯 Nicholas, Nicholas, Nicholas.
我该拿你怎么办 What am I going to do with you?
- 长官 你必须知道... - 不 你必须明白 - Sir, you have to understand... - No, you have to understand.
一时间 队员们是无法接受你的推断 The boys here aren't used to the concepts you're bandying about.
"谋杀"这个推断 尼古拉斯 The "M" word, Nicholas.
沙福德村已经有20年没有谋杀记录了 There hasn't been a recorded murder in Sandford for 20 years.
但 长官 这我能肯定 But, sir, I'm certain.
而且我还知道是谁干的 And what's more, I know who did it.
请叫你们经理来 Can I see the manager, please?
请扒皮先生到经理室 经理室 扒皮先生 Mr Skinner to the Manager's office. Manager's office. Mr Skinner.
天使警官 有失远迎啊 Sergeant Angel. And to what do I owe this pleasure?
西蒙·扒皮 我以你谋杀莱丝莉·耕种机的嫌疑逮捕你 Simon Skinner, I'm arresting you on suspicion of the murder of Leslie Tiller.
莱丝莉·耕种机死了? 怎么死的? Leslie Tiller's dead? How?
她跌倒在自己的剪子上了 She tripped and fell on her own shears.
我还要以你在5月1日 谋杀提姆·情报员... I'm also arresting you on suspicion of the murder of Tim Messenger on May 1st,
4月29日谋杀乔治·批发商... of George Merchant on April 29th
和4月28日谋杀伊芙·德瑞帕 和马丁·吹牛皮的嫌疑逮捕你 and of Eve Draper and Martin Blower on April 28th.
- 那我杀他们的动机是什么 警官? - 问得好 - Why on earth would I do that, Sergeant? - I'm glad you asked.
我那次看到你这位只会在镇中心出现的人 My suspicions were first aroused when you appeared
驾车出现在村郊外 at the scene of the Blower-Draper death, on the outskirts of Sandford,
就起了疑心 despite the fact you live and work in the centre of the village.
我还记得你在歌剧结束后的发表的评论 I couldn't help but recall your comments at the theatre on the previous evening.
你不仅表露你知道他们的奸情 When you not only indicated an awareness of the couple's affair
还指出伊芙和村委会的关系... but also inferred that Eve's connections at the council
可让她获取重要情报 might make her privy to important information.
你甚至还说要"砍"她的脑袋 You even spoke of "bashing her head in."
希望能打探到沙福德开道计划的内幕 Perhaps hoping you might discover the route of the proposed Sandford Bypass.
你已经注意到乔治·批发商看了提姆·情报员 You were already suspicious that George Merchant was buying up
在《沙福德公民报》上的文章后 a large area of land on the outskirts of Sandford,
开始大量收买沙福德郊外的地皮 after an article Tim Messenger wrote in the Sandford Citizen.
你知道批发商买的地皮不值几个铜板 You see, the land Merchant was buying had little value in of itself but,
但如果旁边开条公路的话 就会变成...怎么说... if it became accessible by road, it would be a prime location for say,
一个购物中心 a retail park.
你因为担心客人们的流失 Consumed with concern for your business
会让生意惨淡 and potential disloyalty from fickle customers,
你就想先下手为强 you yourself expressed a wish to behead.
无情的杀害竞争对手 You killed the competition in cold blood.
还制造意外的假象 Staging the murders as accidents.
你用拖车做了吹牛皮·德瑞帕死亡的第二现场 You used a vehicle removal truck to stage the Blower-Draper death
还制造咸肉和豌豆烹饪失误的假象 and incinerated an old man in his own house.
连人带屋烧了个精光 Covering your tracks with the judicial application of bacon and beans.
不过 百密必有一疏 However, there was a loose end.
那下午 提姆·情报员被砸死前 Tim Messenger.Splattered before he could share with me
告诉了莱丝莉·耕种机... what he told Leslie Tiller that very afternoon.
告诉她土地的真正价值 The true value of her land.
在知道耕种机要自己卖地皮后 Upon discovering she was about to sell up to the developers,
你就残忍的用剪刀刺杀她 you brutally murdered her with her own shears.
利用你业余赛跑员的速度 迅速逃离现场 And made good your escape utilising your impressive skills as a fun runner.
很精彩 不过你是不是电影看多了? Very entertaining. But I rather think you've been watching too many films.
他真的没有 He hasn't.
那我为什么要杀莱丝莉? 很明显你还不知道我和她是亲戚 Why would I kill Leslie? You clearly aren't aware that we're related.
但是 我知道你就是"娘娘腔表哥" Oh, but I am, "Cousin Sissy."
可我这个"娘娘腔"绰号是你自己编造 I'm afraid my nickname of Sissy is only a revelation to yourself.
我年轻时跳过芭蕾 这众所周知 My teenage years studying ballet are well known.
- 是啊 娘娘腔扒皮 - 同性恋上帝 - Yeah, Sissy Skinner. - What a Gaylord.
谢谢 安德鲁 Thank you, Andrews.
尽管我说过我要"砍"我的顾客 Now, despite my comments about "beheading" customers,
我个人比较喜欢同行竞争 I personally relish the competition of another store.
这样可以激励我的工人 Anything to energise my workforce.
再说 我怎么可能铲一块教堂屋顶的碎片... And anyway, what makes you think I could dislodge part of the church roof?
亦或者 制造车祸假象? Or for that matter, stage a car crash?
谁都知道 教堂的屋顶需要翻修 It's a well known fact that the church roof is in dire need of repair.
而且你的两名员工不也为村委会 And isn't it true that two of your own employees
做拖车工作? operate the vehicle removal service for the council?
警官 现在已经是21世纪了 Sergeant, this is the 21st Century.
做多份兼职又不奇怪 Many people hold down several jobs.
我还在村委大厅里教绘画课 I myself host a life drawing class at the Village Hall.
提娜也是"雏女吧"的舞女 Tina here is a table dancer at Flappers.
随你怎么说 你还是能用拖车达到你的目的 Nevertheless, you could have utilised the vehicle removal truck for your own ends.
你这些指控是站不住脚的 警官 These accusations are quite meaningless, Sergeant,
再拿出些更有力的证据吧 unless you can back them up with hard evidence.
你说的没错 Well, you've got me there.
我的确需要确凿的证据 I'd need something conclusive.
证明你的在场证据 Something that placed you at the scene of the crime.
或许就是今晚你伤口上的留下的玻璃碎片 Perhaps a wound you sustained on a piece of broken glass this very evening.
玻璃碎片 This very evening.
警官 现在你要怎么解释 Sergeant, this is beginning to get embarrassing.
我怎么可能 在同时出现在不同的地方? How could I possibly be in several places at once?
超市的监控录像可以证明我的清白 I'm sure the store's security footage will absolve me.
你想看多久就看多久 Do feel free to spool through.
我一个人就行了 胖子 I can handle this, Danny.
你该回去继续庆祝你的生日 You might as well go back and just enjoy the rest of your birthday.
- 你真的给我买了那盆花? - 是啊 买了 - Did you really get me that plant? - Yes, I did.
不过...现在被当成证物扣押了 But it's been impounded as evidence.
那么 嗯.. 老爸会不会同意我去浇浇水? Well, I mean, maybe Dad will still let me water it, eh?
嗯 Yeah.
警官 我跟你说... Sergeant, I wanted you to know that
如果我真的得到属于... if I do indeed now own the land belonging to...
属于莱丝莉的土地 我会以她的名义造一座公园悼念她 belonging to Leslie, that I intend to turn it into a memorial garden, in her honour.
扒皮先生 你要怎么使用土地和我无关 所以... Mr Skinner, what you do with your land is of no concern of mine,
去死吧 So jog on.
迈克 等警官忙完后 能陪他回他的住处吗? Michael, will you escort the Sergeant off the premises when he's quite finished?
好的 Yarp.
真不敢相信莱丝莉死了 怎么死的? I just can't believe Leslie's dead. How did it happen?
她跌倒在剪刀上了 She tripped and fell on her own shears.
[废柴]
嘿 不是我干的 Hey, that werert me.
看呀! Hey, look.
叛徒先生又穿上他的风衣了 Look, Mr Treacher's got his big coat on again.
- 去店里买点吃的? - 可爱多 - You want anything from the shop? - Cornetto.
-还没抓到那些杀人犯? - 其实就一个杀人犯 - No luck catching them killers, then? - It's just the one killer, actually.
- 怎么了? 冻着脑袋了? - 不 我想到了 - What's the matter? You got brain-freeze? - No, I got brainwave.
我们立即回警局! Get us back to the station, now!
- 不止一个人 - 又来了? - It's more than one person. - Come again?
- 不止一个杀人犯 - 刚不是说是扒皮干的? - It's more than one killer. - It was Skinner a minute ago.
是 不过 或许是的 Yeah, well, maybe it still is.
其实 或许他...或许他不是单干的 或许还有其他人 You know, maybe he's... Maybe he's not alone. Maybe there are others.
尼古拉斯 你是位出色的警官 我以前也遇到过 Nicholas, you're an exceptional officer. But I've seen this before.
- 长官? - 冒泡警官 - Sir? - Sergeant Popwell.
就和现在一样 It was exactly the same thing.
你们以前工作的地方危机四伏 You've come from a city where there's danger round every corner,
导致你太过敏感 and it's driven you round the bend.
是的 长官 Yes, sir.
为你自己考虑一下 去睡一觉 Do yourself a favour. Sleep on it.
如果明早你没改变想法的话 我保证我会妥善处理的 And if you still feel the same in the morning, I give you my word, I'll get right on to it.
嗨 怎么了? 怎么样了? Hey. Hey, what's happening? What's going on?
没什么 我要回旅馆了 Nothing, nothing. I'm just gonna go back to the hotel.
- 那你要搭我的车吗? - 不 我可以步行 - I mean, do you want a lift? - No, no, I could do with a walk.
大个子 游戏结束了 Hey, big one, playtime's over.
迈克? Michael?
你在吗? Michael? Are you there?
迈克 事情办得怎么样? ? Michael? Is everything okay?
好的 Yarp.
解决掉天使警官了? Sergeant Angel's been taken care of?
好的 Yarp.
他不会再找麻烦了? He's not gonna get back up again?
坏的 Narp!
很好 现去城堡那里 Good. Proceed to the castle.
弗兰克 事情闹大了 Frank, this shit just got real.
扒皮真的找人想干掉我 现在 现在他要去... Skinner just sent someone to kill me, and, now, now he's gone somewhere.
好像要去...城堡那里 我得...我得跟上他 Up to the... To the castle, I think. I'm gonna... I'm gonna go after him.
就这样 我是尼古拉斯 Okay? It's Nicholas, by the way.
哦 天哪 Oh, my God.
花盆怎么碎了? What happened to your Peace Lily?
胖子 胖子 在这里等着好吗? 看着他 给你爸打电话 Danny. Danny, just stay here, okay? And watch him, and call your dad.
- 告诉他我得推断是正确的 - 你要干什么? - Tell him I was right. - What are you gonna do?
- 我要去揭发他们 - 尼古拉斯 等等 - I'm gonna bust this thing wide open. - Nicholas, wait.
- 这能派上用场 - 谢了 搭档 - You might need this. - Thanks, partner.
我怎么可能 在同时出现在不同的地方? How could I possibly be in several places at once?
真不敢相信莱丝莉死了 怎么死的? I just can't believe Leslie's dead. How did it happen?
你会发现我们很有组织性的 You'll find that we run a very tight ship here.
谁会这么做呢? Who could do something like this?
我想批发商是想炸点东西吃 但没关煤气阀 Seems like Mr Merchant tried to have a little fry up and left the gas on.
太糟了 Nasty way to go.
发生了什么事 丹尼? What happened, Danny?
还没抓到那些杀人犯? No luck catching them killers, then?
还没抓到... No luck catching them...
现在是会前公告 Now, quick announcement before we begin.
珍妮特·剥皮机决定给孩子们 取名为罗杰和马丁 Janet Barker has decided to call her boys Roger and Martin.
下周六便是洗礼仪式 我们都被邀请出席 And the christening will be a week on Saturday and we're all invited.
- 汤姆 - 谢谢 乔伊丝 - Tom. - Thanks, Joyce.
现在有个好消息 Now, you'll all be delighted to hear
那顽固的天使警官已经上西天了 that the tenacious Sergeant Angel has been taken care of.
乔伊丝明天会发现他在洗手间里滑倒 Joyce will discover the Sergeant lying on the wet floor of his bathroom,
扭断了脖子 having slipped and tragically broken his neck.
那处理了那警官后... So, with the dispatch of the Sergeant,
我们可以专心根除那群帽子党 we will now be able to concentrate on the eradication of our hoodie infestation.
没错 Quite right.
在那之后 我们便高枕无忧了 After which, nothing will stand in our way.
你错了 织布工先生 Oh, I beg to differ, Mr Weaver.
哎呀呀 我们有客人了 Well, well, well, I see we have visitors.
我是尼古拉斯·天使警官 纱福德的警务人员 Sergeant Nicholas Angel. Sandford Police Service.
老天 他是够顽固的 My, he is tenacious, isn't he?
我要以故意谋杀的嫌疑逮捕你们 I'm arresting you under suspicion of conspiracy to commit murder.
不要激动 警官 Oh, come, come, Sergeant.
你们真可耻 You should be ashamed.
- 妄称自己在乎社区 - 可我们真的在乎 尼古拉斯 - Calling yourself a community that cares. - Oh, but we do care, Nicholas.
这都是为了村庄好 It's all about the greater good.
为村庄好 The greater good.
这怎么可能是为了村庄好? How can this be for the greater good?
为村庄好 The greater good.
其实 我很欣赏你的那些推断 警官 You see, as much as I enjoyed your wild theories, Sergeant,
但事实却要简单得多 the truth is far less complex.
吹牛皮的死是因为他拙劣的演技 Blower's fate was simply the result of his being an appalling actor.
演得不好 Quite appalling.
你们就为这个杀了他? You murdered him for that?
- 他侮辱了莎士比亚 - 什么? - Well, he murdered Bill Shakespeare. - What?
拥有一个歌舞剧社团 能帮助赢得竞赛 The Dramatic Society is an important feather in our cap.
不能让吹牛皮坏了好事 Couldrt let Blower jeopardise that.
竟让两个比较专业的演员 等在后台 Not when we had two semi-professionals waiting in the wings.
别忘了格雷格曾是《稻草狗》的临时演员 (《稻草狗》于1971年上映) Let's not forget that Greg was an extra in Straw Dogs.
还有谢莉在《嫌疑重犯》里扮演过死尸 And Sheree played a cadaver in Prime Suspect.
这我知道! Yes, I know!
马丁根本不在乎小镇的声誉 Martin was less concerned with the reputation of the village
更在乎他和伊芙·德瑞帕那恶心的奸情 than he was with his sordid affair with Eve Draper.
所以伊芙也该死? And so Eve deserved to die too?
反正她笑起来很难听 Well, she did have a very annoying laugh.
难听 Annoying.
- 那么乔治·批发商呢? - 他的房子不好看 - And, and George Merchant? - He had an awful house.
不好看 Awful.
我们劝他改建成乡村格调 We begged him in vain to make his residence
融入社区 但他不肯 more in keeping with the village's rustic aesthetic.
那 那 提姆·情报员呢? 他哪儿不对了? And what about Tim Messenger? What was his crime?
我们受不了提姆·情报员 做《沙福德公民报》编辑 Tim Messenger's tenure as editor of the Sandford Citizen has been unbearable.
在有名的报刊上发表无聊的文章 Our once great paper had become riddled with tabloid journalism.
更别提他别字连篇 Not to mention persistent errors.
- 还把她写成55岁 - 其实我才53岁 - He listed her age as 55. - When, actually, I'm 53.
53岁 Fifty-three.
那莱丝莉·耕种机呢? 联盟的人也杀? What, what about Leslie Tiller? One of your own?
她的园艺技术使沙福德闻名遐迩 Her horticultural expertise helped put Sandford on the map.
她真的太能干了 Oh, she was ever so good.
但莱丝莉表妹也是我们的耻辱 Cousin Leslie was a terrible shame.
她竟然决定要搬走 But it seemed she was set on moving away.
我们决不能让别人得到她的技能 We couldn't have her sharing her green fingers with anybody else.
特别是不信耶稣的布福德·艾比 Not least those heathens at Buford Abbey.
我们得不到的 别人也休想得到 If we can't have her, no one can.
这些不可能让村庄更好 How can this be for the greater good?
- 为村庄好 - 够了! - The greater good. - Shut it!
这些人死得莫名 简直是莫名其妙! These people died for no reason. No reason whatsoever!
哦 我可不同意 Oh, I wouldn't say that.
你好 尼古拉斯 Hello, Nicholas.
我以前也和你一样 I was like you once.
在我失去了我爱人前 I believed in the immutable word of the law.
我也相信法律是公正的 That is until the night Mrs Butterman was taken from me.
没人比她更爱沙福德 You see, no one loved Sandford more than her.
她曾是妇女协会和花卉协会的主席 She was head of the Womers Institute, chair of the floral committee.
直到年度最佳村庄竞赛开始 When they started the Village of the Year contest,
她昼夜不停的工作 敬业到我无法想象的地步 she worked round the clock. I've never seen such dedication.
在评委抵达的那晚 几个游客闯进卡拉翰公园 On the eve of the adjudicator's arrival, some travellers moved into Callahan Park.
在能喊出"吉卜赛人渣"前 我们已经在没及膝盖的狗屎里了 Before you could say, "Gypsy scum," we were knee-deep in dog muck,
他们全是些偷鸡摸狗的孩子 和厚脸皮的骗子 thieving kids and crusty jugglers.
厚脸皮骗子 Crusty jugglers.
我们输了比赛 艾琳就疯了 We lost the title and Irene lost her mind.
她驾车冲出了沙福德峡谷 She drove her Datsun Cherry into Sandford Gorge.
从那时起 我发誓我会让她骄傲 From that moment on, I swore that I would do her proud.
不惜任何代价 我们会使沙福德变得更美好 And whatever the cost, we would make Sandford great again.
长官 我还是不明白 Sir, this doesn't make any sense.
评委们明天就要到了 我们必须作足准备 The adjudicators arrive tomorrow. We had to get everything ready.
这些都是为了赢得最佳村庄奖? Are you saying this is all about winning the Best Village Award?
这里就是最好的小村 尼古拉斯 你也见到了 This is the best village, Nicholas. You've seen the people.
- 镇民们很幸福 很满足 - 他们住的是桃花源 - They're happy, contented. - They're living in a dream world.
冒泡警官当初也和你想的一样 Sergeant Popwell thought much the same as you.
没想到你竟是只井底之蛙 I'm disappointed you can't see the bigger picture.
抱歉让你失望了 长官 Well, I'm happy to disappoint you, sir.
但我还是要您和我去一次警署 And I'm afraid you're gonna have to come with me.
你们所有人都必须跟我走 You are all gonna have to come with me.
不 尼古拉斯 我想是你... No, Nicholas, I'm afraid it is you
必须跟我们走一趟 who is going to have to come with us.
胖子 住手 Danny, no.
退下! 退下! Back off! Back off!
不然你们就要想象 丹尼是如何跌倒 Or I swear to God, you'll be explaining how Danny tripped over
掉了脑袋 and accidentally cut off his own head.
少来了 尼古拉斯 你没这个胆 Come on, Nicholas. You haven't got it in you.
我认真的! I mean it!
我操! Shit!
吉卜赛人渣 旅客 Gypsy scum. Travellers.
偷鸡摸狗的孩子 狗屎 Thieving kids. Dog muck.
厚脸皮骗子 Crusty jugglers.
厚脸皮骗子 Crusty jugglers. Crusty jugglers.
厚脸皮骗子 Crusty jugglers.
沙福德村已经有20年没有谋杀记录了 There hasn't been a recorded murder in Sandford for 20 years.
我们允许一些年轻人进酒吧是有原因的 There's a reason we accommodate a few of the younglings at the pub.
艾尔罗伊的农场有了点小状况 Spot of bother up at Ellroy Farm.
我一定会给大家个满意的交代 I'll make sure everyone gets their just deserts.
一脸大胡子 (VOICES ECHOING)
如果我们不对这些小丑 采取些严厉措施的话 If we don't come down hard on these clowns...
我们会立马处理的 We'll get round to it.
胖子! Danny!
- 你在干什么? - 救你呢 - What are you doing? - Saving your skin.
- 简直就是谋杀! - 其实是番茄酱啦 - This is murder! - It's not, it's ketchup.
我不是指这个 我是说那群人 I'm not talking about that, I'm talking about the others.
- 哪群人? - 被NWA干掉的那群人 - What others? - The others the NWA have murdered.
- 不可能 - 是真的! - That's not true. - It is!
老爸说这是一个特殊俱乐部 Dad just said it was his special club, he...
我以为是为众人主持公道的 I thought it was about rapping people on the knuckles
- 帮他们走上正轨 - 那里堆得全是骷髅! - and sending them on their way. - There are skeletons back there!
我怎么不知道什么骷髅 I don't know nothing about no skelingtons.
- 你以为是什么? - 反正不是你说的 - What did you think was happening? - Not this!
就是弗兰克 It's Frank.
他把自己当法官 陪审团 还有执行官 He's appointed himself judge, jury and executioner.
- 他不是法官 陪审团或者执行官 - 他就是 - He's not Judge Judy and executioner. - He is!
- 你必须帮我拿下他 - 不行 - You've gotta help me take him down. - I can't.
他是我老爸 开我的车 He's my dad. Take my car.
回伦敦去吧 没别的办法了 Go back to London. There's nothing you can do.
我会回来的 I can come back.
我会回来的 I can come back, and I can bring the blue fury
我会驾着伦敦市总局的警车回来的 of the Metropolitan Police Service with me.
警车也能被他们蒸发掉 大家会信谁? They'll make it disappear. Who are they gonna believe?
我老爸还是发疯的伦敦警察? My dad, or a loony London police officer.
你不会让我孤军奋战的对不对? But it won't be just me, will it?
我们可以一起 你和我一起来 搭档 We can do it together. You and me. Partners.
不可能的 瘦子 这里是沙福德 Forget it, Nicholas. It's Sandford.
[M4公路 伦敦 127英里]
[赫斯顿休息站]
就这些...先生? Is that everything? Sir?
先生? 先生? Sir? Sir?
- 还需要些什么吗? - 不要了 - Is there anything I can do for you? - No.
[《绝地战警2》《终极豪情》]
剩下的得由我自己来 This is something I have to do myself.
[欢迎来到沙福德]
上帝又赐了一个好天气 Another beautiful day in God's country.
胖子? Danny?
是... It's...
老妈! Mum!
你想怎么样? What you gonna do?
大摇大摆的拘捕所有村民? Just walk in and arrest the whole village?
可别小看我 Not exactly.
天使警官 伦敦有人打电话找你 Oh, Sergeant Angel? Someone from London called for you.
我叫他们迟点再打好了 I'll tell them you'll ring them back.
- 真好玩 - 什么好玩? - Well, that's funny. - What's that?
我们这里竟然有骑警 I didn't know we had a mounted division.
没人跟我讲过 Nobody tells me nothing.
要不要来帮忙? Wanna do something useful?
安妮特 天使警官回来 快看他的坐骑 Annette, that Sergeant Angel's back. Check out his horse.
收到 Roger that!
- 他... - 天使 - It's... - Angel.
皇冠酒吧 请进
早 Morning.
这才像话 That's what I'm talking about.
还觉得自己白混了? Still feel like you're missing out?
法西斯主义者! Fascist!
母夜叉! Hag!
住手! 请住手! Stop! Stop this, please!
让我们停止这无畏的斗争 Let us stop this mindless violence.
尼古拉斯 孩子 Nicholas, my son.
就算你不是上帝的子民 你也应该崇尚和平 You may not be a man of God, but surely you're a man of peace.
我虽不是上帝的子民 牧师 但我分辨是与非 I may not be a man of God, Reverend, but I know right, and I know wrong,
承蒙天赐 我还能分辨好与坏 and I have the good grace to know which is which.
去死吧 小屄样子 Oh, fuck off, Grasshopper.
不要! No!
耶和华啊! Jesus Christ!
瘦子! 瘦子! Nicholas! Nicholas!
我以为你挂了 I thought you was a goner.
放下武器! Drop your weapons!
- 孵化器医生 不要啊 - 闭嘴 胖子 - Dr. Hatcher, no! - Shut up, Danny.
你是我接生的 我想也应该由我... I brought you into this world, I think it's rather fitting
送你去见阎王爷 I should be the one to take you out of it.
还有你爱惹麻烦的小朋友 You and your interfering little friend.
好了... Now...
放下武器 drop them.
- 你是医生 自己解决 - 哼 老屄样子 - You're a doctor, deal with it. - Yeah, motherfucker.
- 胖子 我们继续 - 下一站是哪儿? - Danny, let's roll. - What you thinking?
酒馆? Pub?
罗伊! Roy!
警察快来啊! Somebody call the police!
不许动! Freeze!
警官们 逮捕那个人 Officers, arrest that man.
- 丹尼 站到一边去 - 不 老爸 - Danny, step away from the Sergeant. - No, Dad.
丹尼 照我说的去做 Danny, you'll do as you're told.
我不要再听你使唤了 I'm not taking orders from you anymore.
- 警官们 逮捕他们! - 等等! - Officers, arrest these men! - Wait, wait!
你们可以想逮捕我们... You can arrest us if you like.
抓我们去坐牢 然后白白给人做奴隶? You can throw us in prison and go back to being blind, submissive slaves.
还是做真正的警察 Or you can be real police officers,
和我们一起结束这荒谬的残局 and help us bring an end to this absurd story.
你他妈在嘀咕什么? What the fuck is he on about?
他妈的啥? Fuck are you on about?
你们就没想过沙福德的犯罪率低... Have you ever wondered why the crime rate in Sandford is so low?
- 而意外事故发生率高的原因吗? - 没有 什么? - And yet the accident rate, it's so high? - No. Yeah. What?
你们都被洗脑了 托尼 You've been brainwashed, Tony.
被个老谋杀狂洗成白痴了 Brainwashed into naivety by an old man with a murderous obsession.
- 荒唐 - 是真的 老爸 不荒唐 - This is ridiculous. - No, it's not, Dad. It's very unridiculous.
我现在才意识到这一切 一点都不荒唐 And it's only now that I'm starting to realise how unridiculous it all is.
闭嘴 丹尼! Silence, Danny!
- 想想你母亲 - 老妈已经死了 老爸 - Think of your mother. - Mum is dead, Dad.
有生以来我第一次为她的死感到庆幸 For the first time in my life, you know, I'm glad.
要是让她看到你现在的样子 If she could see what you've become,
她肯定会再越崖一次的 I think she'd probably kill herself all over again.
抱歉 我听糊涂了 Sorry, I am completely lost.
沙福德是个骗局 多瑞丝 Sandford is a lie, Doris.
这20年来 弗兰克和NWA掌控了这个小村 For the last 20 years, the village has been controlled by Frank and the NWA.
表面上 他们告诉大家 这是一个完美的乡村 They've lulled everyone into thinking this is a perfect village
背地里却干掉任何违背他们的人 and killed anyone who's threatened to change that.
他说得有点道理 I reckon he's got something there.
他说"他说得有点道理" He says, "He reckons you got something there."
我知道 I know.
你们不会真的信了吧? You're not seriously gonna believe this man, are you?
相信他? 他都不是个本地人 Are you? He isn't even from round here.
回头是岸啊 长官 Maybe it's time to give it up, sir.
你们这群臭条子 You incompetent flatfoots!
步行者警员 和撒克逊守在这里 封锁现场 Officer Walker, stay here with Saxon and hold everything down.
没问题 Fair enough.
同志们 我们走 Officers, let's go.
- 老爸怎么办? - 他会回来的 - What about Dad? - He'll come round again.
要不要去另一家店? Want anything from the shop?
[顾客专用停车场]
想到办法没? - What you thinking? - Well...
现在进攻就可以制造突袭的优势 We should strike now, while we've got the element of surprise.
等久了 对方就有准备 Longer we wait, more time they've got to mobilise.
我建议直接从正门闯入 逐个占领所有通道 I say we go in through the front entrance, take the place aisle by aisle.
攻其不备 They won't be expecting that.
很好 就这样 Very good. What he said.
哎呀 警察来了 My, my. Here come the fuzz.
- 或许他们不在这里 - 在这儿候命 - Maybe they're not here. - Wait here.
- 你一个人不行的 - 没事 他知道该做什么 - Don't go in on your own. - Don't worry, he knows what he's doing.
我没事 他们在里面 Okay. They're in.
你们处理店内的 我处理推车男 You deal with the store. I'll deal with the trolley boy.
听着 等等 迈克 听我说 听好 No, listen. Wait, wait, wait, Michael, wait, listen to me. Listen, listen.
你真的 真的想打架? Is this what you really, really want?
好的 Yarp.
那随便你了 Suit yourself.
上 上 上 Go, go, go.
拜托 Oh, come on.
安迪! Andy!
没事 安迪 只是牛肉面番茄酱! It's all right, Andy. It's just Bolognese!
- 傻大个呢? - 在冷藏柜里 - How's Lurch? - He's in the freezer.
- 你说他冷静了点没? - 没 我好像啥都没说 - Did you say, "Cool off"? - No, I didn't say anything, actually.
真可惜 Shame.
其实之前你不知道 There was a bit earlier on that you missed
我用抱抱猴分散他注意力 说"游戏结束了" when I distracted him with the cuddly monkey.And then I said, "Playtime's over,"
然后用白鹤芋砸他脑袋 and I hit him with the Peace Lily.
你太乱来了 You're off the fucking chain!
- 情况如何? - 2名目标还有一大箱刀具 - What's the situation? - Two blokes and a fuckload of cutlery.
怎么办? What do you reckon?
这么办 Idea.
干的好 各位 Good work, everyone.
- 厉害 多瑞丝 - 同性相斥嘛 - Nice one, Doris. - Nothing like a bit of girl on girl.
水果战 Fruit attack!
你能处理吗 渔夫警官? 我们去解决大老板 Can you handle this, Sergeant Fisher? We're gonna go after the big boss.
没问题 警官 We're on it, Sergeant.
- 胖子 我们上 - 天使! - Danny, let's rock. - Angel!
别再当废柴了 Don't go being a twat now.
不会让你失望的 I wouldn't give you the satisfaction.
- 我们下去追 - 怎么下? - We should get down there. - How?
跳楼 Skip.
- 要去追他们? - 操他妈的对! - Head them off? - Fuck, yeah.
- 我来开车 - 用猎枪 打他几个大窟窿 - I'll drive. - Shotgun! Punch that shit!
[评委们后面的横幅] 祝你们好运 沙福德 "年度最佳乡村" (SIREN WAILING)
天鹅! Swan!
退后! 不然吃子弹的就是这小子 Stay back! Or the ginger nut gets it!
你这小屄样子! You little fucker!
滚出我的村子! Get out of my village!
这村子不再是你的了 It's not your village anymore.
- 干的好 孩子 - 谢谢 - You did good, kid. - Ta.
- 你叫什么名字? - 艾伦·艾·艾伦的儿子 - What's your name? - Aaron A. Aaronson.
什么? Sorry?
天使! Angel!
结束了 胖子 It's over, Danny.
都结束了 It's over.
痛死我了 This really hurts.
我要吃冰激凌 I'm going to need some ice-cream.
别担心 局里有很多 Yeah, well, don't worry. There's plenty of ice-cream at the station.
对不对 胖子? Isn't that right, Danny?
退后! Stay back!
- 住手吧 弗兰克 你这老糊涂 - 你听我的 - Pack it in, Frank, you silly bastard! - Now, now.
我们谁都不想伤害对方 We don't want any more bloodshed.
弗兰克 你做的这一切 都因为你失去了你爱的人 Frank, this whole thing started because you lost somebody you loved.
我不信你会以 失去儿子来结束这一切 Don't expect me to believe you'd let it end the same way.
我来告诉你我要怎么结束! I'll tell you how this is gonna end!
我不知道该怎么说了 I feel like I should say something smart.
你什么都不用说 You don't have to say anything at all.
整个行动非常成功 Satisfactory conclusion to the whole operation.
而我理想中的星期日应该是... Now, my perfect Sunday would begin with...
你觉得如何 尼古拉斯? What do you say, Nicholas?
我们...我们... 我们这几天一直在找你 We... We... We have been trying to reach you for days.
- 是啊 我最近有点忙 - 我们需要你 - Yeah, well, I've been kind of busy. - We need you back.
说实话 你的缺席让犯罪率涨过头了点 The figures have gone a little squiffy in your absence, it has to be said.
回伦敦吧 Come back to London.
沙福德配不上你这样出色的警官 Sandford's hardly a fitting place for such an exceptional officer.
这个 问题是...长官 Yeah, well, the thing is, sir.
我挺喜欢这里的 I kind of like it here.
还有 这里有很多文档工作要解决 Besides, we have to do a considerable amount of paperwork.
- 狗日的 瘦子 写死人了 - 是啊 熬夜才能做完 - Fuck's sake, Nick, this is gonna take ages. - Yeah, it's gonna take all night.
干的好 还好有足够的人力 安迪 Well, good job we've got the manpower, Andy?
官方指南写的是 "警署职员" 不是"人力" Well, official vocab guidelines state that we say "staffing," not "manpower,"
感觉"人力"有点男性主义化 'cause "manpower's" a bit sexist.
你介意用"人力"吗 多瑞丝? You don't mind a bit of manpower do you, Doris?
色狼! Oh, dirty bastard!
日趴你! You cheeky fucker!
你算什么东西? You know what you are?
好管闲事的畜牲 A bloody busybody!
不! No!
上帝 不是吧 Oh, God, no!
胖子! Danny!
天哪 Oh, God.
坚持住 胖子 坚持 Hold on, Danny, just hold on.
坚持住 会没事的 一定会没事的 Hold on, it's gonna be fine. It's gonna be fine.
坚持 坚持住 Just hang on, hang on!
一切都会没事的 Everything's gonna be fine.
一切都会没事的 Everything's gonna be just fine.
一年后
希望你喜欢这些花 [悼念亲爱的黄油男] Hope these are okay.
嗯 很漂亮 Yeah. They're lovely.
悼念亲爱的艾琳·黄油男 爱你的丈夫弗兰克和儿子丹尼尔
- 城堡附近有警员吗? - 请说 多瑞丝 - Any officers near the church? - Go ahead, Doris.
警长 有人报告说一些西皮乞丐... Chief, we've had a report of some hippy types
在超市的回收场捣乱 messing with the recycling bins at the supermarket.
- 我们去处理 - 好的 - Leave it with us. - Righto.
黄油男警官 该我们登场了 Sergeant Butterman, little hand says it's time to rock and roll.
拉起警报 Bring the noise.